Does it bother anyone else that Cathy (of the comic strip) married her on-again off-again boyfriend Irving without living with him first? (No, I have not lost my grip on reality. I know it’s just a comic strip. But is not art a reflection of life?)

Seriously, who does that anymore? Do you really want to learn that your beloved throws your extra-thirsty Egyptian cotton pink monogrammed towels in a wet heap on the bathroom floor after you’ve tied the knot? Should a guy first learn that his partner spends 90 minutes in front of the mirror and still comes away complaining that she feels rushed, every single morning, when it’s too late to say “never mind?”

If you believe (and I do) that marriage should last forever, doesn’t it behoove you to extract informed consent from your significant other before you sign the papers? Full disclosure. It should be required.

Back to Cathy. Not only did they not share an abode, they didn’t even work out their post-wedding living arrangements beforehand! They came home from their honeymoon and THEN started negotiating who would move into what house, and where the furniture would go. Boy is THAT honeymoon ever over.

Furthermore, Cathy moved into HIS house. Speak up, Xanga women… have you ever seen a bachelor’s house that you would consider moving into? When I met Technogeek he lived in a house that has probably since been condemned. It wasn’t his fault. OK, yes, it was.

How many times over the years did Cathy and Irving break up? He’s unreliable, girlfriend. How do you know you can both stick it out for the long haul without a test run?

I predict a rocky road for that couple. My motto: Strengthen marriage—live in sin first.


28 thoughts on “

  1. Did he mash cake into her face at the wedding? That, I have noticed, is the kiss of death. But then I’ve only been to1300 weddings in the past twenty years, so what do I know???!!!

  2. I say he deserves what he gets-I mean, he already knew about her annoying mother.   I never get a chance to read the funnies. But I am Cathie and he is Irving, so that’s kind of cool.  And we live together 1/2 time.  We definetly know all the ugly stuff.

  3. Well, it sure is foolhardy, but some folks are like that.We lived together for a year and when we did, we both moved out of our old abodes and into a new condo. We still wanted to be together after living together (not sure why, since we drive each other crazy, but what the hell) and THEN did the whole nine yards – got married (no cake smashing!), bought the house, got the puppy and then had the kidlets.So, ummm…yeah…I agree.

  4. My paper doesn’t carry that strip anymore, so I didn’t know.  But I would have said “bravo!”
    Maybe that will be the “new” trend! 
    But that’s just me.  I’m older, I have been married for 30 years, and not only did we not live together first, we didn’t even…you know. 
    I don’t think living together is the necessary precursor to a happy marriage.  I think other things can be far more important.  People are ever-changing, anyway, so the person you lived with for a while is not going to be the same person you stay with.  After 30 years, I feel entitled to say that!

  5. I haven’t read Cathy in a long time.  So she and Irving finally got married.  I don’t think it’s necessary to live together beforehand, although my mother raised me to believe that it’s not wise to move directly from your parents’ house to your husband’s.  In other words, live alone and make sure you can support yourself before marriage.  I’m 36 and have been married 13 years and we didn’t live together beforehand *and* I moved into his place (although my mother-in-law, bless her heart, went over there and cleaned the crap out of it before I moved in.)  Geez.  Just from writing that I realized that should’ve been my warning sign that he was never going to learn to clean up after himself.

  6. I don’t know….My sister spoke on the topic for her speech class and she found a ton of evidence and studies stating that cohabitation before marriage does not only not improve a couple’s chances, but that in some cases, it can actually be detrimental to a relationship.  In my opinion, living with someone isn’t the best way to go about the matter, there are far too many pitfalls.

  7. My psych book says that couples who live together before marriage “have markedly higher divorce rates [emphasis in original text].”Of course, it is sure to note that this doesn’t cause divorce, but it certainly doesn’t seem to prevent it.

  8. O.K. I’m sure you weren’t interested in our stats.  I’m beginning to believe that you can prove ANYTHING with statistics. . .But I’ve heard some folks say that the higher divorce rate (of those who cohabitated first) may be attributed to the mindset, “Is this relationship working for me?”. . .Which is a mindset that can be carried over to the actual marriage. . .And Lord knows the answer same days or hours (or minutes, at the very least) is, “No, no it is not.”. . .Even when he’s the love of your life. 🙂

  9. 92% of people beleive anything when it’s accompanied bu statistics.  Really! I’m sure that only about 38% of statistics matter but when they do then 88% of men and fully 94% of women can be trusted to read 54% of the arrticle and base fully 63% of thier opinions on what they read.  Really, I read it somewhere!

  10. I wish Cathy and Irving all the best.  You know, over at For Better or For Worse, Elizabeth and her bf lived together for awhile, and she found out he was a cheater.  The comics page is a hotbed of passion these days!

  11. I’ve always said to people that I wouldn’t want to live with my whatever it is, should I ever get one. Living next door to him would be nice, but setting up house? No. All the big relationship-killing fights start over petty little things, like not paying the bills on time or turning the toilet paper roll the wrong way around.

  12. Statistics show that couples who live together before marriage, have a higher divorce rate.  The argument for living together used to be that it would decrease the likelihood for divorce.  However, that has been disproven.  In fact, the divorce rate is higher than ever and many couples have lived together prior to marriage.
    No, I did not live with my husband before we got married.

  13. I dare say there are quite a few people in the world who did not live with their spouse before they were married (me, my older sister, all of my in-laws, which amounts to just under 50 people or so) to name a few. I don’t think it strengthens marriage, it may make it harder. But, each couple has to do what’s best for them.

  14. I thoroughly enjoyed this post! I am happy for Cathy and Irving. I think they will last because of the fact that they know each other well. To their defense, they were looking for a home before they got married. Why they got married is a different story but I do wish them well. I am glad to know I am not the only one giving my daughter “odd” advice. I have told her that she should not contemplate marriage before she can support herself. I also advised her to live with the person first… in her apartment…. and not to add them to the lease. Living together is not a guarantee to a happy marriage but the reverse isn’t either. My point is that you learn more about each other and it is easier to kick them out than it is to divorce later. Two out of three marriages end in divorce and according to the CDC 31% of cohabitating couples end up in marriage and 31% of non-cohabitating couples end in marriage. End result? It doesn’t matter. What matters is how prepared the couple is to make the marriage (or cohabitation) work; commitment. (As an aside, couples who claim to be religious have the same percentage of divorce as non-religious couples. The difference, which I thought was funny, was that many religious couples’ reason for divorce is adultery while non-religious couples state “irreconcilable differences”.)

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