Well now. It seems my dear friend Gungaboy has rejoined the gay Pagan coven and needs to give himself a Pagan name. The best he’s come up with so far is “Shadowhawk,” which is so uninspired I feel we in the Xanga community must offer our help.

For those of you whispering “fag hag” with a snicker behind your hands, I HEARD THAT!

Now, where was I?

What makes a name Pagan, anyway? I guess it has to reflect nature somehow. The names also tend to evoke images of the stacks upon stacks of bad sci fi/fantasy novels one finds in New Agey stores. Tree-type names are popular. How about “Star Wood?” No? “Bark Stud?” Wait, I’ve got it- “Tree Top.”

Ok, maybe a flower-related name would be best. The obvious “Pansy” simply MUST be taken by someone already in the coven. “Dandy Lion?”

Forget flowers. Let’s visit the ocean. With a name like “SpongeBob SquarePants,” one would be destined to lead the coven, but I’m not sure Gungaboy is ready for that.

It doesn’t get much more “natural” than the insect world. Perhaps a “Queen Bee” would be welcome in the coven?

As a gardener, I’m partial to vegetable names. Appropriate choices might be: Cucumber, Zucchini, Carrot Stick, or even Corn Cob.

Fruits might be more popular names for this purpose. The obvious choice: “Apricock.”

(Even I’m wincing. Come on, people, help Gungaboy find a name!)


20 thoughts on “

  1. OK.   You crack me up.  By the by, I did not rejoin the coven, but some of my coven pals are doing my initiation into the craft.
    I’m not sure that Apricock is in the running.  and one day I’m showing your posts to your kids.
    Never forget I’m evil!

  2. how about “Starlight Cauliflower”??? It’s a hippie name i’ve heard before, not an original from me. Though I still think that his choice of joining a gay coven is morally deprived and that a better choice would be to seek Christ as revealed in the Bible.RYC: Johnny is 21 how old are you?

  3. OK to add to the confusion – We already have someone named YEW.  Will you be there?  Will YEW be there?  It’s so bad we took to trying to add a hypen-something.  Someone suggested ‘Forest Yew’ and before it was out of the air I heard myself saying, ‘Perfect we can just call him F-U for short.’  So lets be creative, but try not to be too obvious.  We’ll leave that to the hoop skirts.

  4. speaking of new Age stuff, I visited a used paperback book store last week, went directly to the section labeled sci-fi and guess what I found? All fantasy and the like. I might be a purist, but vampires, dragons, elves, trolls and other European origin myth creatures are NOT sci-fi. I was appalled at the suggestion that they were.
    As for a Pagan name, have you considered Gnome Bone? Pecker Wood? Elven Bishop? No wait, that’s a musician. Never mind.

  5. IRYQ:  I’ve only had 2 parties so far, but at each of them I made over $150.  My goal is to just do about 4 parties a month and make b/t 4 and 500 a month (my math seems off, but I think the avg party, you make $100). . .It’s not a ton, but that’s what we spend on groceries a month (for 6), so it would definitely help.  It’s better than the alternative:  I had considered doing in-home day care, which is pretty much slave labor wages.  I’d make about the same (maybe 5 to 600 a month) for keeping an extra child all day, 5 days a week. . .And I definitely wouldn’t be able to homeschool, if I brought more kids into this circus. 🙂
    My friend convinced me to invest the whopping $20, when she made $1300 her first month. =-O

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