TALES OF THE INEXPLICABLE
Some things that have perplexed me lately:
• Why are there so many flavors of vinegar? And how many varieties does a well-stocked kitchen really need? I’ve got half a dozen bottles of vinegar at the moment. Is that enough? Once cooked into something, can anyone tell the difference between them? The other night I made sloppy joes from scratch (never use the canned stuff…yuck). The recipe called for distilled white vinegar, but I pulled apple cider vinegar out of the cupboard. Not one single member of my family spat out the joe and said “Good God, woman! Did you put APPLE CIDER vinegar in this?”
• What is WRONG with the people who make children’s toys? Today my four year old opened a jigsaw puzzle that was clearly designed for four year olds. It’s a picture of Barbie in a diaphanous gown and contains 46 enormous pieces. Little Bit is good at puzzles and she was having no trouble fitting this one together. But, when it was about half done, she began to cry with frustration because the cheap, flimsy cardboard pieces would not lay flat, and therefore would not hold together. The more pieces she added, the more the picture fell apart. I think the devil spawn that sells this kind of crap to young children should be required to build themselves a house out of dry sand and live in it.
• While perusing the writing jobs on Craigslist, I came across this gem:
Freelance Writer Wanted! Serious Applicants Only
Admin911 is in search for professional and reliable freelance writers.
Admin911 is an office management firm for small business. We offer our clients a variety of services at a low and competitive rate. At this point we are seeking talented and creative writers. As a start up venture, we are not a large company, offering large compensation. Instead, we are a small company and the pay is not great. If you have a strong passion for writing and can offer quality work for poor pay, contact us.
New Employees: 2.00-5.00 per article containing 200-500 words. Normally, there are 10-25 articles per project assigned. Writers will make between 20.00-125.00 per project and they will be assigned 1-3 projects a week.
What a deal, eh? At best, these folks want some idiot to agree to write 25 500-word articles (that’s 12,500 words) for $125.00. Hey, Admin911, anyone who would agree to those terms cannot be a “serious applicant.”
Over and out.