ROCK AND ROLLERBLADE

As I skimmed through Yahoo News searching for something less appalling than the London bombings to write about, I found a story about the Rollerblade company. It seems they’re now focusing a large part of their marketing efforts on the 40-50 year old crowd.

Flashback: A couple of years ago, Technogeek went on a skating binge. He worked near a popular skating path at the time, and spent his lunch hours zooming around Greenlake on inline wheels. Eventually, he convinced me to take up the sport.

With brand new skates in hand, he led me to the cul-de-sac outside our house to try them out. Sitting on the curb, I strapped them securely on my feet and stood up.

Then I fell down.

“Oh,” Technogeek said, “you have to lean forward a little.”

With much effort and somewhat embarrassing bodily contortions, I stood up again.

And fell down again.

“Everybody falls down a lot at first,” he said helpfully. “Just do it like this,” as he skated circles around me.

Let me tell you, that asphalt looks quite smooth and level from the safety of my kitchen window, but up close, it is quite rough, sloped, and very, very hard.

It went on like that for awhile until I regained my senses, sat down on the curb, and removed the death vehicles from my feet. It took a whole box of Blues Clues bandaids to cover my abrasions.

So you can imagine my reaction when I read today that Rollerblade tells its potential middle-aged customers that inline skating burns as many calories as running or cycling, BUT WITH LESS IMPACT AND SHOCK TO THE JOINTS.

Well anyway, I didn’t give up. But I did remember the vows I took on my wedding day, especially this one:

I vow to never, ever allow my lunatic of a husband to attempt to teach me anything.

So I went to a skating school. At a rink. With a lovely, smooth, flat floor. A kind and patient teacher taught me how to stand up with wheels on my feet. And how to move forward without moving downward.

Since then I have even skated in the cul-de-sac a little. But I don’t stop very well. This is how I stop in the cul-de-sac: find a good section of the curb to crash into so that I fall onto a large patch of grass.

Well hell, I’m only 39. Too young for inline skating.

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “

  1. Something tells me this move is being subsidized by the health-care industry. Concerned at losing massive amounts of older customers to Canadian drugs, they’ve decided the only hope is in sports medicine and contusion care.

  2. Thanks for visiting and commenting.  I used to roller skate when I was a teenager.  I tried again a couple years ago but lost complete control and landed with a crash that all the rollersaters heard.  My foot and knee were swollen for months.  I’m done with skating including rollerblading.  My feet will stay flat on the ground.

  3. I have never rollerbladed just regular roller skated. The last time I went I came out with black and blue bruises all over my body. I think my balance and coordination was way off even back then. have a good day.

  4. I never learned to maneuver on rollerblades.  I was more a traditional roller skate kind of girl.  When my kidlets were just little, I used to take them to the family skate at our local rink Saturday mornings.  It was just for moms and little ones–just right for someone with our limited skills.  I did love it, though!

  5. Well I have known you to be a bit on the conservative side where the possibility of severe bodily injury was involved.  Fool.  Everyone knows that the risk of imminat death is the reason people take up rollerblading and skateboarding anyway.

  6. SURE………..of course they tell the older crowd inline skating is a great way to exercise! That way they can sell you the helmet and the elbow and knee pads after they’ve sold ya the inline skates!
    Screw those inline skates. I’ll take my roller skates the way the Good Lord made them in the first place—with the four wheels, two in front and two in back of the bottom of said skate! Sticking the wheels all in the center is asking for trouble! heh heh

  7. There is something special about roller blades. They’ve long had a home on my {must buy now … not in budget) purchase pendulum. Thank you for dispelling my personal myth that buying would yield instant proficiency. But still, it would be nice at times to have a pair…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s