ALL THE NEWS
So…. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (you know, the one who made vague threats against Terri Schiavo’s doctors) has been indicted for campaign finance fraud in Texas. If convicted, he faces two years in the slammer.
And… Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is under investigation for insider trading.
Dudes. Don’t sweat it. Just do your time. When you get out, you’ll get your own reality show. “The Apprentice: Tom DeLay/Bill Frist.” On this program, wannabe political lackeys undergo a 15 week interview in which they demonstrate their skills in spinning, graft, corruption, and buck-passing.
Meanwhile…. Karl Rove’s little bit of treason has been forgotten, thanks to clever media management. Learn from the master, contestants!
And also… George Bush conspired with the weather gods to bring another hurricane so he would have a second chance to demonstrate that the Department of Homeland Security does something other than remove rights from law-abiding American citizens.
Ok, I made that last part up. The Department of Homeland Security actually has no other functions.
Quote from Newsweek:
“Bush will go down in history as the most fiscally irresponsible chief executive in American history.”
Yes, George, a giant, unnecessary yet unstoppable war plus increased domestic spending plus natural disaster clean up plus tax cuts equals one whopping big deficit.
Don’t worry, George has it handled. He’ll pay the bills with the big federal credit card known as Your Children’s Future.
And on this date in history…. Bill Clinton was presiding over a peaceful and prosperous nation with a budget surplus, and getting a little Oval Office nookie.
Thank god those days are over.