This just in here at Xanga News, Inc.


…Rep. Tom DeLay is again under indictment, this time on a charge of money laundering.  A conviction carries a possible sentence of life in prison.  Upon hearing the news, DeLay finally cracked.  The men in white suits dragged him forcibly from the Capitol building, where witnesses heard him singing “We Shall Overrule.”  Just before the doors of the paddy wagon closed, the tune changed to “It’s My (Grand Old) Party and I’ll Gerrymander If I Want To.”


…President Bush pissed off his base by nominating Harriet Miers as Supreme Court Justice.  Never having been a judge before, Miers’ judicial behavior is uncertain.  Right-wing lobbyist Tex Draconian told our Xanga reporter, “We elected him and he owes us!  Not only did he promise to eliminate reproductive freedom, he also promised to turn back the clock on other atrocities wrought by liberal judicial activism, like all that civil rights nonsense.  If the Framers of the Constitution had meant for Negro people to vote, they would’ve spelled it out.”


…We have a new winner in the “Too Stupid to be Allowed to Speak in Public” category!  First Mom Barbara Bush loses her trophy to former Education Secretary and Virtue-Maven William Bennett, who said that exterminating black citizens would eliminate crime in the U.S.*  On national television.  Congratulations, Bill!



*Yes I know that’s not what he said, but that’s how it sounded, which is why it was so stupid, see?


Your faithful Xanga News reporter, T_R, signing off.




26 thoughts on “

  1.  My Mom was always a big fan of the “Book of Virtues” dude, until she heard that he left his wife and kids (don’t quote me on that — he divorced in some capacity), which you know, wouldn’t be very virtuous.

  2. As you know, Bennett actually said that “aborting every black baby in this country” would reduce crime rates. This actually confuses me. He’s a racist, genocide promoting, hate mongering, fuck-head but he’s pro-abortion? I can’t keep these Republican platforms straight.

  3. Don’t be too sure Bush’s base is pissed off.  Miers has been a friend of Bush’s for years, and I’m sure he knows her position on abortion, even if nobody else does.

  4. Heres the Bill Bennett quote:”I do know that it’s true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country and your crime rate would go down. That would be an impossible, ridiculous and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down.”::shakes head::I’m glad I live in Canada…

  5. When I moved into my studio apartment, I couldn’t afford cable and lost my only glorious source of news: Jon Stewart.  So thanks for being my sole news source. 

  6. IRT yorel:  Note that I said he was stupid, not evil.  He may well be evil too, but this blunder was merely stupid.  The quote, “you could abort every black baby in this country and your crime rate would go down,” without context, will follow him forever.

  7. YIKES!  The real quote (via Javagrendal) scares me enough.  I can admit that conservative folks aren’t immune to saying stupid stuff.
    IRYC:  Thanks for reminding me to take some time to clear my head for the sake of baby and me.  That’s what my 2 and a half hour nap was all about today.   I’m having to let a lot of the non-urgent stuff slide through the cracks, but growing a baby is hard work. . .And I figure I should treat it as such. 🙂

  8. The republicans weasels getting in trouble for corruption is something that I’ll believe when I see it.  They’re already blaming other people and doing that fast talking they do.

  9. RYC…I too am a firm advocate of using caffiene to hoodwink brain into full participation….the news is not good…the news is that we are in trouble…but perhaps more people will begin to see the truth about what is underneath all that glib if inarticulate spin…..

  10. Bill Bennett used to be a guilty pleasure of mine, it pains me to admit.  He’s no longer a pleasure, so I no longer have to feel guilty. 
    Look.  I was happy to be a devil’s advocate and defend the idiot Rush Limbaugh, who was at least speaking *a* truth when he talked about the reverse racism that was going on when he was trying to explain why sports writers were leaning over backward to write favorably about Donovan McNabb (McNabb is a black quarterback who doesn’t need favoritism.  He IS great, and everyone but Limbaugh knows it).  I was happy to be a devil’s advocate and defend Jimmy the Greek, who was an idiot only for the same reason that Bennett is — in speaking “a truth” he caused far much more pain than was worth what little elucidation was offered.  The Greek was talking about breeding big strong muscular guys (today’s jocks) in terms of what the old slave owners supposedly used to do.
    But I can’t defend Bennett.  That was just a moronic thing to say, taken out of context or not.  The so-called “truth” behind the remark is not even fit for debate.  Human nature being what it is, there’d still be disenfranchised groups, there’d still be crime, and who knows how much of it?  To defame a race, in order to get at a “truth” that isn’t even close to being a “truth?”  Speculation at best, and not even intelligent speculation.
    As I said, Bennett used to be a guilty pleasure.  Limbaugh still is.  They’re both idiots, but both are capable of saying things that need to be said, as distorted and warped as their opinions may be.  But nothing Bennett says from now on can be heard by me without recalling this nonsense.  I don’t care how unassailable his position might be on certain matters.  Everything he might say is tainted by the stupidity he showed this week.
    Oh, before I leave, I’ve updated the latest blog and I wrote their that I would be inviting the earlier commenters to re-visit and re-comment, if you are so inclined.

  11. I’m wondering what Bush has to do to finally convince his die-hard supporters that he’s an idiot. Get caught on camera eating crayons? Stick his finger in a light socket? Grrrrrrrrr, it just blows my mind that no matter what he does there are folks who will make excuses for his stupidity!!!

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