You’re getting older now, buddy, and maybe it’s time to admit that your hearing is going. There’s no shame. I didn’t design you guys to last as long as you do. That’s what happens when you make animals intelligent. They find ways to circumvent your intentions.
Anyway, George, for the record, I did NOT tell you to go strutting around Iraq, killing a bunch of Iraqis, pissing off the Arabs, and putting American soldiers in jeopardy. When you thought I said “invade Iraq,” it was really “Cracker Jacks.” I just thought you needed something to eat.
So get a hearing aid, grab yourself a snack, and get your country out of this mess.
PS… there’s another letter for you here.