BABY?

  No, NO, I did not drink any of the Xanga water that caused
Madhousewife,  Anothermadhousewife, and OrdinaryButLoud to all be pregnant
together.  But my five-year-old wishes I
did.

“Mommy,” Little Bit moaned at bedtime, “I REALLY want a
baby.  I SO MUCH want a baby.  Why can’t we have a baby?”

I had the perfect response. 
“Our family is perfect just the way it is, Sweetie.”  Who could argue with that?

Little Bit could.

“But Mommy, Arthur and D.W. had a baby.  Now there are THREE kids in THEIR family.  WE could have another baby too!”

“Arthur and D.W. are aardvarks, not humans.  Besides, they are FICTIONAL aardvarks.  You want to base our lifestyle on the
profligate reproductive tendencies of fictional aardvarks?  And also, haven’t you read any of the
research on birth order?  Everyone knows
the first born gets the high expectations and the baby gets the adoration.  What does the middle child get?  Bupkis. 
You’ll thank me when you’re an overindulged boomerang adult spending
your bucks on bling because you don’t have to pay rent rather than an overaged
goth chick painting all black pictures in a skuzzy apartment while struggling
to find her place in the world. ”

I stopped because Little Bit had fallen asleep.  My work there was done.

I admit it does seem unfair. 
Tigger gets to have a little sister.  How can I justify denying Little Bit the
opportunity to be the bigger, more powerful sibling, the one who is idolized,
the one who gets to help and care-take rather than be the smallest all the
time?  This is the child who dressed as a
Mommy for Halloween.  Of course, Tigger
complains that she has unfairly been denied the benefit of an older
sister.  Not much I can do about that.

It never seems to occur to either of them that a new baby in
the family might well turn out to be a (gasp) boy.  And judging by my husband’s reputation among
those who knew him when, any boy child of his would be a red-haired demon.  Would the children still appreciate their baby
brother when he started firing rocket-powered nerf missiles at them while
swinging from the chandelier?  Would they
think him cute when he interrupted their sweet, cooperative girl games with
simulated vomit?

No, it is in Little Bit’s best interests to remain the
youngest child.  She understands that
now.

When she’s asleep, anyway.

 

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23 thoughts on “

  1. Very cute. 
    Bananna asked me, “why we wouldn’t want to have any more babies,” when I mentioned that there’s an operation that can be done to insure that sort of thing.  I was taken aback, but very pleased to hear her ask this.  One, as the first born, she knows (sometimes I fear TOO well) the work load involved with each subsequent baby.  And two, # 5 will be the 4th baby she has shared a room with. . .And she’s a stuff-monster, who’d LOVE to have her own room.  She has also commented in the past, that she may have about 2 babies, when she grows up — babies are a lot of work. 🙂  So I have been thrilled with her excitement over #5 (no, he’s still not named yet). 
    Anyway, all that blabbering is my wondering aloud –if someone had 10 kids, wouldn’t one of the kids want 11?
    P.S. Arthur rocks (even the t.v. show).  Papa Bear and I agree that it has better character development than most adult sit-coms. 🙂

  2. I’m a dweller on the thresholdAnd I’m waiting at the doorAnd I’m standing in the darknessI don’t want to wait no moreI have seen without perceivingI have been another manLet me pierce the realm of glamorSo I know just what I am.I’m a dweller on the threshold ….~Van Morrison,
    ‘Dweller On the Threshold’
     
    Unless i am missing something….
    on the intuitional scale you score top marks..
    that was very very impressive ..
    I had VM on the post then edited it out …
    cause it was getting to long…again
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    I had two younger sibs and i love them both dearly ..now
    the stories are true
    Dont drink the water!!!
    doug

  3. I was the second youngest and the middle girl  of 5 kids – I kind of got the short end of the stick.  I love my little sister but I would have loved to have been the youngest.

  4. Kids are so much fun…my son was incredibly impressed today by the fact that I can wiggle my ears.  He looked on in awe and followed me around the house for a while, hoping for another display.  He told his sis that “Mommy is awesomd!”  Incorrect spelling intended, that’s the way he pronounced it.  He also wants a sibling, preferably Buzz Light Year.

  5. When our son was in that 4-6ish stage, he prayed a lot at night for “a little brother or sister… but especiall a brother.” It was sweet, and we didn’t know how to explain to him that mommy & daddy were doing everything they could… *ahem* but now that he is 8, he says, “a baby would be fun, but they cry too much, and he would probably mess up all my toys.”heh.BE blessed!Steve

  6. My daughter wants a sister very, very, very much.  If this baby doesn’t turn out to be a sister, she’s going to ask me to go back to the drawing board.  Which I don’t intend to do.  So I hope she gets her sister. 
    My son, on the other hand, thinks that about 20 babies is enough. 

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