THE HAMSTER COMETH

Now that Thanksgiving is over, the mind controllers at the
Ramjac Corporation have flipped the Christmas switches inside the heads of
American consumers. It is no accident that gas prices have miraculously come
down.  Our corporate masters want to
ensure we have plenty of fuel to get to the mall.

And what are the Rabbit children getting for Christmas?  Well, five-year-old Little Bit has not yet
had her greed chip implanted.  I think
they do that at the six-year-old examination. 
If I ask her what she might want, she looks mystified.  When I looked through a toy catalog with her,
she pointed at things and said “would I like that?”  The only strong desire she expresses is the
persistent longing for a baby sister. 
Santa won’t be delivering that.

My eight-year-old, on the other hand, knows exactly what she
wants.  Tigger demands a pet of her
own. 

The cats of the household are not so much pets as
co-owners.  The bunny is my pet and only
gets out of his cage after the children have gone to bed.  Last year Tigger went through the “can we
PLEEEEEEASE get a dog” phase, but made no headway.  After a great deal of thought and research,
she decided she needs a hamster.

The kid’s got it all planned out.  She’s going to ask Santa to bring the major
hardware—cage and other necessary equipment. 
When the hamster house is set up, she plans to buy the critter, the
food, the bedding, and the toys with saved-up allowance.  She has checked out every hamster care book
in the school library and read them cover to cover.  She has dragged me to the pet store to price
hamster chow and exercise wheels. 

How could Santa refuse in the face of such
determination?  I’m sure Tigger will find
a hamster cage on Christmas morning. 

Now I need to figure out how I can get the kids to refer to
this annual acquisition extravaganza as Solstice or Yule or A.A.E. rather than
Christmas.  We are not actually
celebrating the birthday of Christ.  Then
again, neither is anyone else, historically speaking. 

Well, any excuse for a party.

 EDIT: Note to self:  Do not, under
any circumstances, attempt to fix a typo in a blog entry via the
ancient browser on the old iMac.  After falling head first into
HTML hell, I finally deleted the whole entry and repasted it from the
original Word file.  My apologies to anyone who inadvertantly saw
the mess before I cleaned it up.

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28 thoughts on “

  1. Festival of Mithras – It’s what those “horrible” pegans were worshiping on 12/25 until Constantine wanted their undivided attention and said “Hey! It’s Christs birth too. Let’s celebrate that instead”. Dang pegans fell for it and now look at where we are — hamster cages under the tree 😀

  2. Little bit hasn’t had her greed chip implanted? What? DQ had the greed chip implanted at her 3rd birthday examination. I think they didnt realize it and gave her a second one a year later….So is Santa going to bring the RadioDisney CD with HamsterDance on it?

  3. BEWARE OF CO-OWNERSHamsters have found from past experience, to their dismay and hasty demise, that feline co-owners are not reliable hamster keepers!Past experience in my herstory remembers coming across an untouched internal organ lying solitary on the carpet–no bones, no blood, no fur– just an untransplantable organ. We could not say it was of mysterious origin, just that it had previously been held privately in the dark interior by the missing hamster.Co-owner felines were purrfectly silent about it all and purrsisted in being totally unaccountable for even any knowledge of the dastardly deed! I cannot recall if they took any amendments or anything. I do recall that they raised high long tails, put noses aloft and made slow, regal exits shaking their heads at my seeming dismay.The organ was laid to rest in the kitchen waste file.Eventually there were more hamsters and more still, but that is a tail of a different length and time.This story is passed on as house history and not horror story. Depending on the point of view, the feline faction was not only silent, but seemed highly content with the outcome.

  4. ah yes, let the good times roll.  Not even a full two days after Thanksgiving and it has come upon us like gang busters!!!!  RYC:  You are so right, I think I have to wave a white shovel.

  5. Ah, Little Bit sounds too sweet.  “Would I like that?”  How come my three year old already got the greed chip implanted and Little Bit escaped it? 
    Gotta admire a woman who knows what she wants.  I hope Tigger enjoys her new pet.

  6. I still call it Christmas but celebrate it as a cultural tradition rather than a religious thing. Haven’t tried coming up with a new name for it though.  The greed chip. I think it comes with the television signals. The years we have NOT had television, the gift requests were very generic. “A doll.” “A book.” With tv, comes very specific and lengthy requests.

  7. I like calling it the Festival of Mithras; it sort of rhymes with Christmas, so other people might not notice that you’re doing something “different.”  Or you could do as some old friends of mine (who live near Seattle, in fact) do and celebrate Isaac Newton’s birthday on Dec. 25th. 
    RYC: I may do the Seattle show again in the spring, but only if I have a booth partner to help cut costs and keep me sane.  The Bellevue show might be a better choice.  I received information about a show in Edmonds, but it conflicts with a workshop trip to California. 

  8. Beware of hamsters, we had them once and one was pregnant and then one of the babies was so cute we kept it, but kept it to long and then there were more hamsters and more and more.  🙂 jen

  9. Cool!  You could have Habitrail tunnels running all over the house!  And if you get one of those clear plastic balls that hamsters run inside, the cats can bat it around.  Hamsters love that! 
    Don’t they?

  10. I started calling my kitten Little Bit after reading these posts sometime last week.  It seems to have stuck with the rest of my family too.

  11. Our family lived through just ONE hamster.  Our boys were little and wanted one.  (Now 49 and 50 years old)  On the way home, he chewed his way through the cardboard box they put him in for transfer.  My husband was trying to keep him corralled while I drove,  and it ate a hole in his shirt.  We kept him in a birdcage in the kitchen.  One night he learned how to get the door open, to escape, but not how to get his eye out without puncturing it.  From then on he was a one-eyed-hamster.  One night in the middle of the night, my husband woke me up and said “That @#%^ hamster is in here somewhere, I hear him.”   We looked FOREVER before we found him.  Don’t remember how he died, but I didn’t spend much time being sad about it.  The boys had long since lost interest in it anyway. 

  12. That is a hilarious story from CharlotteColors about her cat and hamster experience.  
    “The Hamster Cometh” is a great theme.  You could get an advent calendar. . .only celebrate the advent of the hamster. 🙂
    A.A.H.– Annual Advent of Hamster 

  13. My childhood memories of pet hamsters include watching them eat their own babies and die of heat stroke after I thought it a good idea to take their cage outside on a bright, sunny day.  They would also get loose from time to time and we’d find them in the most unlikely of places, such as lodged in the guts of an old electric typewriter.  You’ll have much better luck, I’m sure.

  14. We’ve had better luck with hamster than the previous posts suggest.  I like Solistice but festival of Mithras is catchy and then there’s Newton’s Birthday.  Many choices.

  15. Hamsters are dreadful creatures, and  they have no personality whatsoever.  They are rodents, small and easy to catch if you are a cat.  Tigger is going to get her little heart broken because the cats are going to kill the hamster.  She will have nightmares about it for the rest of her childhood!  All in all, a dog would have been a much better choice.

  16. OH man, you know how bad dogma said you could get one of those plastic balls and the cats could bat the hamster around, I remember now that my step-son had one of those and the cat went up to it, and the hamster had sudden cardiac arrest, poor Ryan was devastated because his hamster died first. 
    RYC: yes I am determined to get a quicker start this year than usual, because my house is empty i am thinking I can at least fill it with Christmas decorations, my x didn’t take that stuff from me, just most everything else.  Also, instead of going into the usual Christmas depression, I am determined to enjoy this Christmas with my teenagers and make the best of this year.  🙂 jen

  17. Thanks for stopping by!!  Yes I love leather carving, besides the CD case I making a Manicure case, and Leather Earrings for Christmas.  Lots of work a head of me!!
    We had hammer once too,  and never again!! and for the same reason other gave!!
    I love my dog Skeeter!!  He lots more fun and company!!

  18. As a child, I had hamsters, mice, rats, gerbils (mean little buggers!) and guinea pigs. Of them all, the hamsters were the sneakiest about escaping. Maybe you could convince her that a pet snake is in her best interest. Watching it devour a hamster whole might be a learning experience for the whole family. (just kidding)
    We don’t celebrate the birth of the glorified scarecrow, so we simply call it Giftmas. It’s appropriate, considering.

  19. In fifth grade, I went around singing all I want for Christmas is a Guinea Pig.  My second grade, baby brother, walked two miles in a snowstorm to the pet store, bought a beautiful short hair calico guinea pig, tucked her inside his jacket and walked home again.  I still adore this brother.  Faced with a fait accompli, mom bought the accoutrements.  That was all I got for christmas.  Nothing else.  One does need to watch what they sing for.  Cuddles, my new pet, shortly gave me three more pigs.  Turns out the little cutie was naughty at the pet shop.  LOL
    You might let Tigger know that the cats will cheerfully share her hamster if it ever gets loose.  My sister bought a cat and it meant dead pigs until we sold the rest of them to the local pet store.  Mind you, I was not consulted.  Such is life.

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