Dear John Gibson,


If there’s a “War On Christmas ™” going on, how come the stores have
been packed full of Christmas paraphernalia since Halloween, but I
can’t find ONE STINKING BOX OF CHANUKAH CANDLES in this WHOLE FREAKING
CITY?  Note that I live in Seattle, one of the capital cities of
the Loony Left ™.  You would think the War On Christmas ™
would be in full swing here, wouldn’t you?  And since Chanukah
begins on Christmas day this year, you might think retailers would sell
the necessary Chanukah supplies along with the tinsel and plastic
wreaths.  You would be mistaken. 

You’re right about one thing, though.  Not a single store clerk
said “Merry Christmas” to me today.  They all said, “Give me your
f#%$@* money or get the f*&^ out of my store.”

Happy f*&^*%$ Holidays, John.

Your friend,
Transvestite Rabbit

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25 thoughts on “

  1. The “War On Christmas” ™ is just like the “War On Terror” ™.  They’re both pointless conflicts of an indeterminate length, mostly financial at their core, and like Iraq, Chanukah was a minor uninvolved target that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and is already long since conquered.
    To quote Lewis Black regarding Christmas, “You Christians have created a beast that cannot be fed!”

  2. I like that. I’m a Christian, but I’ve been thoroughly puzzled about this so-called War on Christmas. *scratches head* Looks pretty Christmas-sy to me around here… I’m now in Springfield, Oregon.
    Anyway. I like that letter.

  3. Perhaps you should visit Cleveland some time.  We have loads of Chanukah stuff for sale.  Candles, decorations, wrapping paper, you name it.  Today, for the first time I was in the supermarket and there, playing among the Christmas songs was “Spin Little Dreidel.”   It sounded like it was being sung by the Morman Tabernacle Choir,  it was so beautiful!

  4. I can’t find Chanukah candles either ( guess I will have to use birthday candles ) I actually did that one year, of course they did not fit and so we had to sin and blow them out right away.

  5. War on Christmas, War on Drugs, War on Terrorism, War on Iraq, War on Afghanistan….  Why are we *at war* with everything???  Maybe because we have a warmonger prez?
    WTF ever happened to the concept of Peace on Earth?
    Great letter, TR.
    xoxoxo

  6. Yeah, well, just try finding those neat little old fashioned strawberry candies in the foil wrapper that have gel-stuff in the center.
    And why, exactly, is this letter addressed to John?  Is he having an issue with something?

  7. Hilarious!
    I’m sorry you couldn’t find Chanukah supplies, and for the obviously rude customer service. That sucks. Maybe the fact that Christmas crap is put out so damn ^%$#$ early has something to do with loss of Christmas spirit. I don’t know. Anyway, Happy Chanuka!!

  8. Retailers.  It’s tunnel vision.  You are right, though.  There are few things out there that indicate the start of Chanukah, Kwaanza, or any other religious holiday.  If they were smart, retailers would tap into all of them. Instead of the whole “fighting Christmas” thing, I say let those who want to celebrate the holiday of their choice…celebrate!  All of the rest of the fuddy-duddies can get up and go to work! 
    LOL at your comment.  Yes, if I had a National Enquirer, I’d probably read that too!  (But they’d be banging on the door to get in…that probably wouldn’t work!)   Thanks for stopping by!

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