I gained a new subscriber this morning.  Somebody new, I hadn’t seen the name before.  But I can’t remember what it was, because in the intervening eight or so hours, they unsubscribed.


This has happened before.  Usually it is someone with a right-wing bent who subscribes and then reads a few back entries, inevitably discovering my left-wing bent.  But I never got a chance to visit this new subscriber’s site, so I don’t know if that’s the case this time.  And, most of my recent entries are vacation fluff.  What could have chased them away?


Do you ever unsubscribe from Xangas?  I do, when my list becomes unwieldy and I find I am skimming or skipping a lot.  I hate it, because I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings.  Once somebody even emailed to ask if they had offended me after I unsubscribed.  (They hadn’t.)  I try to limit my Xanga time to something reasonable, and that means holding my subscriptions down.  Y’all are a talkative bunch.


How do you decide which sites to subscribe to?  I lean towards the intelligent and witty.  Sometimes I’ll ditch some intelligent and witty sites and pick up different ones, just for variety.  Then later I’ll pick up the ones I ditched again. It’s all for entertainment value, and I hope nobody takes it personally.  There are a few talented writers I’m still subscribed to even though they rarely or never post.  (Ordinarybutloud, you still out there?  Writejaywrite, I’m lookin’ at you, buddy.)


So, my brief subscriber, I hope you’ll come back some day.  Maybe I’ll even subscribe to your site for eight hours.  Peace.



52 thoughts on “

  1. I usually subscribe to someone and forget that I did, be they right-wing bent or left-wing bent. Or Bent Vereen.But then I’m too busy doing myself and don’t comment much on other sites, so nobody cares about me anyway.Or something.

  2. I’ve yet to unsubscribe to anybody, because I’d hate for anyone to take it personally.  The result is I haven’t subcribed to a couple people whom I really should pick up.  I guess sooner or later, I’ll have to grow a spine and start cutting.

  3. Damn, you lost one in 8 hours? I don’t think I’ve lost one in less than 12. I hate it when I lose someone mostly because I don’t know WHO I lost. All I know is there is one less.

  4. Almost all of my new subscriptions are from people that sub to me.  I cannot possible sub back to all of them.  No way.  I give them a couple of weeks and if they look like they are going to be regulars and if they are going to be interesting some of the time, I will add.  I have to purge regularly though to manage it.  Its hard and hurts.  But I wish people would NOT sub to me if they are not going to read and participate.  For me this is DIALOGUE, not monologue.  If we want monologue, we should make all of our posts private, no? 
    My list is people that have something funny, interesting or poignant to say on a regular basis.  A daily list of activities with no humor, insight, or character development, tends to lead to me dropping the subscription.

  5. I have a few people on my list who I disagree with (heck, I can’t imagine that you and I see eye to eye on a number of things), but they write pretty well about it; I keep my subscriptions out of habit. I’ve unsubbed from a few Xangas where the poster is too prolific; even if they write well, it’s difficult for me to want to keep track of them. I only notice when someone subs, not when they unsub; and I have several people on my subbed list who are inactive, which means they’re either stealth reading, or they’re no longer paying attention to this little world. Either way, hi.

  6. I think I’m subscribed to twice as many people as are subscribed to me.  I really can’t keep up with all the reading, let alone commenting.  Some people (including you) get my full attention, but the ones whose posts are   r e a l l y   l o o o o o o n g  are skimmed at best unless they post a headline of particular interest.  I’ve unsubbed to a few people who didn’t post for a long time or who just lost my interest, but never in 8 hours.  I give ’em a chance for at least a week.  My criteria are similar to ^handicap13’s.

  7. I subscribe to people I feel a connection with — sometimes it starts with comments they make on other sites. Sometimes I pick people that I specifically don’t agree with just because I’m interested in them. Some people I like to read because something interesting is going on in their life… they have some sort of ongoing drama or story. Some people I read because they are funny — YOU happen to have great variety in your writings. Your blog can be totally light and hilarious or really really deep and serious from time to time. I like to read intelligent people and quirky people…I unsubscribe if I see huge font profanity or negativity on a blog. I have enough toxins in my life. I don’t like to absorb other people’s hatred. I unsubscribe sometimes if someone doesn’t post often enough and I forget who they are. I read blogs almost every day so I generally prefer friends who are pretty active… I do like it when communication goes both ways. I don’t care if my subs read my blog, but I like it when they occasionally acknowledge my presence lol. I’m here to share thoughts and pass time… I don’t feel a tremendous obligation to most of my subs. Some are pretty important to me and I consider them real friends or I know them in real life etc.

  8. I have some subscribers I shake my head at. Very conservative types to read their blogs. I wonder what they find in my blog. Is it the twitching my writing makes their eye do? I wonder if really I’m winning them to the side of lite. You know… PROGRESSIVES!

  9. I never really notice when people unsub to me.  I usually notice a new sub b/c I see a new name at the top, but if my subscribers don’t comment and I don’t read their stuff I don’t really care too much about them.
    I’ve got a few real life (as opposed to xanga) friends that I’m subscribed to that I really want to UNsubscribe to b/c they are boring… but I don’t want to deal with them.  So I just skim.  Occassionally comment.  Is that mean?

  10. I subscribe to people who can write well, and who have something intersting to say. Perhaps a tale is told with a unique slat, or the writer’s sense of humor shines through. I have unsubbed – but rarely, usually when the blogger posts something that I find offensive. Perhaps your new sub started with a trial subscription, and forgot to unsub before the deadline. I’ve done that, too.

  11. I finally got to the point where I had to unsubscribe from a bunch, but it was mostly because I had too many subscriptions to manage well. The ones I gave up were either people I found I did not really click with or people who posted too much, too frequently. I tend to gravitate toward the writers and/or people who are funny/witty and/or share similar views. A few of them are on my sub list simply because they seem to be good humans, even if none of the above are particularly true. With so many people on xanga, I’ve often felt bad about having to leave people off the list, but I must maintain my non-internet relationships as well too!

  12. That happens to me too, I have lost two and three subs in one day. I have no idea why they subbed in the first place if they were going to drop me within 24 hours, but whatever. I have only unsubbed to people who never post and I am talking months. I used to sub to everyone who subbed to me. Now their site has to be intelligent, You can just tell if someone is smart. I don’t care that much about grammar and spelling, because I suck at both those things, but I do care if someone just sounds really dumb and boring. Latley though I have not subbed to anyone, because I have too many people to keep up with. I have had to resub to people that I never unsubbed to, so I wonder if xanga does that by accident sometimes.

  13. I’ve unsubbed because of several reasons. Like b-o-r-i-n-g. And then then there’s those who start getting crude. Sad but true, I’ve dumped a few because I was never acknowledged by a return comment. I ususally sub by networking. I think that is how I came into your circle. A good site does not have to be like me, religiously or politically. My new job has really hurt my pleasure writing time. Bear with me.

  14. you know I hate trying to figure out WHO unsubscribed. I wish Xanga would fix it so we can tell who has left… I usually figure it out tho. I have been offended by people that unsubbed but I think I was cycling at the time. :0) … I subscribe to people who are bold and witty, I don’t care about their political bent, I like them open-minded on religion or lack of… I like their independence- I find I have a VERY varied list of people that I may have only one thing in common with. I pay special attention to those I feel a connection with. I don’t subscribe to people automatically when they subscribe to me. I do like it if they reciprocate as well especially if I see that they comment on other’s sites… If I know that they comment on everyone but me, I tend to unsubscribe at that point… Or if they don’t particulary seem to care that I subscribed to them, I’ll generally unsubscribe within a few weeks but not in 8 hours! Lol, I bet you are wondering what drove them away. I would! All in all, I think the amount of people I subscribe to and that subscribe to me is fairly even and the amount of commenting is not a bad ratio really… It’s enough.

  15. I think there are a few different mindsets. Some are here for the community. Some are here to write. Some are here to read. I tend to be more of a writer than a reader. It’s a place to experiment a bit. So I don’t subscribe too readily because I know I won’t spend the time reading except for a few that I’ve caught more than once and been intrigued by.

  16. They have to make me smile at least…or I have to have known them forever and love them like a sibling…lolol
    And yes..I unsubscribe when I find I just don’t seem to make it to sites I usually do..Bad me.

  17. I unscubscribe to/from you every time you write a political entry… then I sub again when you mention those darling children. it’s the circle of life…or something.And I did notice when you left me after superbowl/chili entry. Was it something you smelled?

  18. I used to worry so about Ordinary.  But man could that woman write. 
    I can’t bring myself to unsubscribe to anyone.  I was much too quick to sub to people in the beginning.  Just because someone can write doesn’t mean I am going to like them.  And I find if I don’t like them it can be agony to read them.  Now I wait and watch.  Rarely does someone come along who I just have to subscribe to.  Because, by now, with my long-ass list, if I don’t really, really like someone, I don’t go there.

  19. Wow, eight hours–that’s a quick turn-around. I don’t like to drop subscribers either, although I do occasionally if I’m always skimming, etc. I too look for people who are intelligent and witty–I don’t care if their politics align with mine. I just discovered “Trial subscription” where you can try someone for three weeks–and here’s the good thing–they don’t know you’re subbing, so if you don’t like them after all, you can drop them and they never know.

  20. People always agree with me. Maybe because I talk about coffee and elevators?Let David Susskind handle the controversy.I’m getting on the elevator to get a coffee.

  21. If someone stops posting, I unsub after a while. Of course I have some friends who are friends outside of Xanga that I stay subbed to just hoping they will start updating again.
    It’s strange that even tho you tend to be “left” and I tend to lean toward “right” I find we agree on so many things. I don’t mind if people have different opinions than I do. I love reading the other side of the issue and think everyone has the right to thier own thinking.

  22. It might have been me. I thought I was going to have to change my site due to a stalker, and I was in process of getting everything moved over, when the situation was resolved. So I’m staying right where I’m at.

  23. Well, I’m so lame, that I don’t bother w/ subscribing much anymore & don’t even KNOW who I’ve subscribed to! LOL! AND, I just lost my favorite’s folder that had all of my blogs bookmarked! ACK! I get new readers…but if I don’t really have anything in common w/ them, I don’t post on their site or acknowledge them…I’m sure that miffs some people…but like i really want to be assosiated w/ a Teen Cutter, or 18-year-old anorexic, etc…ya know?

  24. I’ve only unsubcribed a few times. I certainly don’t mind opposing view points; in fact, I get frustrated sometimes if I post something edgy and I don’t get any debate! I do hope, however, that everyone who reads my blog knows that I’m firmly tongue in cheek even when it is edgy, and no meaness is intended. I only unsubcribe or block if I sense an inate meaness in someone’s blog or in their comments. As far as you go…I’ll be a subscriber forever.

  25. I try to keep my sub list to 20…I can read that many in a day, comment on the good ones, follow a few links.  It’s what I want to get out of it.  And yes, I drop sites that don’t update or that don’t pique my interest anymore.  I read quite a few sites that I don’t actually agree with–including yours.  I lean more to the right, but it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy reading your thoughts.

  26. Attempting to fill the hole left by the masked subscriber, I will throw myself upon the grenade and take one for the team. Your stuff is interesting and both of my wings were ripped off and kentucky fried, so I can’t be offended. I AM UNSUBSCRIBER MAN!

  27. Well I’m a right winger who subscribes to several left-wingers who are good people, who believe (as I do), in meeting in the middle.  I don’t even mind the occasional Bush-bash, as long as it’s in context.    If it’s a daily frothing at the mouth then I unsubscribe.   I subscribe because someone is interesting, I’m open to all ideas and themes.  I also unsubscribe if something gets too boring, or it becomes a daily moan-fest. 

  28. Ive never thought about it.I have no idea how many are subbed to me..I  sub to people to remind me to check them out from time to time cause they are funny and/or smart..I have unsubscribed to people never really thinking they get a notice about it..now you have me all curious!

  29. Well.. I do not smile in most pictures for reasons that I do not have to explain. So.. thanks for the information on that. I’m allowed to encourage others to smile. It’s not like I never smile. Have a great day. Oh.. and.. nice name?

  30. I should prune my list more.  Somewhere I’ve got a list of the very few I’ve unsubscribed — similar to hoosier-red’s reasoning.  I prolly subscribe to close to 200 folks, and SHOULD subscribe to more, not less, but try to keep things at least a LITTLE wieldy.  I worry about hurt feelings, too.  The only person I ever unsubscribed because of something she said was a woman who scolded me for writing something that had nothing to do with her.  It’s my blog; I get to say what I want.

  31. Whasamatteru?
    It’s always fun to unsubscribe to people and make them wonder.  I haven’t been poting very readable material for a while so I don’t mind if people don’t keep up with me or have unsubbed.  It’s just common courtesy to say something when you walk out of a room though.  Maybe that doesn’t apply to cyberspace but maybe it should.  Is there a ‘Miss Manners’ site for blogging?

  32. i get caught up in feeling pressured to subscribe if someone subscribes to me…hate to hurt anyone’s feelings….yet there are alot of people who visit me that I only visit occassionally
    I like reading your blog tho and try to when i get 5 inutes to sit down and read….but, I probably wouldn’t even read my own blog if I didn’t have to:)

  33. Probably too late to weigh in on this, but unsubbing shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s a pretty random media. I was subbed to someone just to look over their shoulder for a few months and then they realized I was there, didn’t know who I was, threw me out, and blocked me! What a wild ride. Asked someone else who I was.
    Is there any Miss Manners  protocol? Make your own ,I suppose.

  34. Don’t feel bad about unsubbing. I tend to sub and clean house in spurts, and right now I’ve been on a subbing binge. With regards to weeding out your list, this might sound cold, but when it comes down to it, you really don’t owe anybody anything. If proper blogging etiquette dictates an explanation, then fine. But to some, silence is golden.I’ve been on for a little over a year now, and I feel like I’ve only recently found a good comfort zone here. Everyone develops their own habits, and foster their respective loyalties. In my case, I’ve learned to ration… both in posting and in commenting.

  35. HA! Funny… true. But still funny. I unsub from people that are “too” quiet. I am more “right” but have quite a few “lefties” on my sub list…I am open minded to differing opinions, even if I don’t agree! 🙂

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