ONE SMALL STEP FOR TRANSVESTITE RABBIT

I’m not sure when exactly it happened, but I do seem to have
lost my mind.  Let me see if I can
retrace my steps.

 

  1. It’s
    been bothering me lately that I, like many Americans, go to a special
    place called “the gym,” where I perform bizarre and unnatural actions in
    order to exercise my body, while diligently avoiding performing any
    purposeful work that would naturally exercise my body.

 

  1. My
    grass needs to be cut.

 

  1. I had
    the radical notion that I could cut the grass myself, the old-fashioned
    way, and wind up with a.) cut grass, and b.) an exercised body.

 

  1. I
    bought an old-fashioned push mower.

 

  1. I
    mowed down 2/3 of the back yard today.

 

  1. It was
    really hard work.

 

  1. I have
    to do the rest tomorrow, before the #$%^ grass gets any taller.

 

  1. The gym
    is looking better and better, as is the Asian landscaping guy who spoke
    English in a way I could understand if I bent my ear just the right way
    and watched his gestures. 

 

  1. On a
    positive note, it was a relief to go to work today, because once there I
    pretty much only had to move my fingers.

Lately I’ve been amused by the ads that appear at the top of
my site in response to the content of my posts. 
Last time, for example, I mentioned Neil Armstrong, the first man on the
moon.  This resulted in an ad for a
British entertainment agency that represents “The Armstrongs,” though I’m not
clear on what they do.  Perhaps they
clomp around in space suits and make proclamations about mankind.

This post will probably bring on ads for lawn mowers and ads
for gyms.  I shudder to imagine what ads
the phrase “bizarre and unnatural actions” will draw.

 

Advertisements

18 thoughts on “

  1. Premium – no ads.  I think on your rabbitreviews site you should review a porn movie and see what happens.
    Push mowers -ACK!!  The thing about the gym is (a) air conditioning (b) some young hardbodies to look at (c) you can listen to an iPod (not when you have a gas mower) (d) you can stop off on the way home for some shopping or a coffee.

  2. If you keep at that lawn-mowing, you’ll have gorgeously toned arms!I never even noticed that ads at the top of my page. I’ll have to go check and see what xanga thinks I might be interested in.

  3. Yay!  Gym and yardwork obligations all fulfilled at once!And RYC:  they aren’t all my kids’ quotes.  We work with high school students, and they provided the more bizzare comments.

  4. I am currently on a mission to reduce the useless lawn into a) garden and b) soil/water/fuel conserving ground cover.  Grass sucks.  Thanks for popping into my site!  Oh- I hate the gym.  Skinny people make me very nervous.

  5. Using a push lawn mower is hard work. But you will have lean hard arms if you keep it up .
    I love going to the gym but I couldn’t see paying out momey in the summer when I was not using the gym. Camping comes first.  So I stop going and do my exercise at home  I have lots of tapes.  Thanks for stoping by.
    Have a nice evening.

  6. I never notice my ads.  I shudder to think what they could be.
    Good luck with the push mower.   In a few years, Tigger will probably outright refuse to help with the lawn until you get a mower that’s self-propelled…

  7. If you think an old fashioned mower is bad, you ought to try shears. That shit gives you blisters and you’ll vow to never again squat and cut grass. Until next week rolls along.

  8. I definitely own a push mower for the same reason. I’m thinking I don’t have time for that mess either, and I know there are some desperate people with actual equipment who come around trying to make a buck…plus my grandmotherly landlady got a little pissy when it went too long without cutting one time–that was back when I thought I’d do the whole thing with a weedwacker…or scissors. I was hard up.

  9. I usually attend swim aerobics three times a week, but when Rita did major damage to our pool, I resorted to digging flower beds for our yard.   The shovel and hoe, the bags of humus and mulch, and the bending and reaching helped me keep my weight in check.  Plus I got to be outside under the sky, listened to the birds chirp and sing and then I got to rest and watch my flowers grow and bloom.
    I used to use a push mower when I was younger, but no more.    But the other yard work suits me just fine.   
    I like your writing.
    Ava

  10. It’s the age old question, fat and happy or skinny and miserable.
    Now it’s time for you to bait your ads. Write about something outrageous so that you get something interesting as abanner on your site.

  11. That’s why I went Premium, seeing as how some of the things I write about would create ads that would turn everyone right off. sure, it’s fun to read about a 300 foot tall woman with six boobies, but seeing an ad based on it might be more than some people could take.

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