THE BIG GUN
In case anyone was still concerned about the unjust
harassment I’ve received from my Evil Insurance Company (EIC), let me assure
you I handed the matter over to someone better able to deal with it: my
husband, who for the purposes of this post will be known as the Big Gun (BG).
BG has a gift that I lack, which is the ability to excoriate
people out loud. I can only do it in
writing, which is much less effective, since the excoriatee can simply choose
not to read it. Furthermore, he can
excoriate at great length without swearing.
This is key, because a corporate drone (CD) who has the undoubtedly
thankless job of talking to angry customers on the phone is ONLY ALLOWED TO
HANG UP IF THE CUSTOMER SWEARS.
Therefore, CDs are highly motivated to solve BG’s problems,
because he’s so very unpleasant to talk to and they can’t hang up on him.
For example, BG recently phoned the cable company about some
damn thing, and the Supervisory Corporate Drone (SCD) informed him that his
problem could not be attended to for days, maybe weeks, because (insert
meaningless corporate blather here). BG
said he would keep SCD on the phone until the problem was fixed, and settled in
for a long chat. SCD could not hang up,
because BG didn’t swear.
The problem was fixed within the hour.
So I confidently handed the harassing letters from the EIC
over to BG, who reports that they will not be bothering me any more.
And that is reason #192 why it’s helpful to have a man
around the house.
Edit: To answer Gungaboy’s question, reason #191 is: to open stuck jar lids.