CLEVELAND ROCKS

Things I’ve discovered/remembered since arriving here:

  • My
    parents’ house, which is not the house I grew up in, is nevertheless full
    of the stuff I grew up with, but it’s all in the wrong places.  For example, the yellow checkered hamper
    in which I deposited my dirty clothes as a child now collects garbage
    under the kitchen sink. 
  • My
    father never stops at stop signs, yet never receives a ticket for failing
    to do so.  Where are the Cleveland cops?
  • They
    have real, honest-to-god thunder storms here, the likes of which we never
    see on the west coast.  Last night
    it roared and rumbled and flashed for hours, causing the children to huddle
    in their beds and shriek with terror/delight at every KABOOM. 
  • Bad_Dogma
    should write more about my nephew Chip (also visiting this week), because
    he’s a really neat kid.  Chip is a
    walking encyclopedia of zoology. 
    Just yesterday he informed me that vultures enjoy dining on ostrich
    eggs, and that the musk ox (which he was pretending to be while walking on
    all fours) once roamed the earth with the mastadons and the mammoths. 
  • There’s
    a sizable Jewish community here.  In
    fact, there are more synagogues within a mile of my parents’ home than
    there are in all of the Seattle.  And the guy at the next table here at Starbucks
    is wearing a yarmulke. 
  • Tigger
    learned last night that if you are six feet above the ground on a
    fast-swinging swing, and you let go to brush the hair out of your face,
    you fly through the air and land on the ground with an uncomfortable thud
    while your mother runs over to see if you’re dead.  Well, actually, that could’ve happened
    in any city.
  • If you
    go to the El Rodeo restaurant on Wednesday night, hoping to see the clown
    they advertised would be there, you will go home with sad children because
    the clown apparently downed too many margaritas and passed out at his last
    engagement.

And so, all in all, we’re having a spiffy time in the
Vacation Capitol of the Midwest.  But I’ve never understood why they call it
the Midwest when it is obviously in the East.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back and make
sure the children haven’t locked their grandparents in the broom closet.

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20 thoughts on “

  1. You are such an attention hound!!!…trying to suck us all in, and have us worry about your poor parents locked in with the dust pan! Ouch. Live and learn, eh? (Better there than the amusement park. )I’m assuming she’s fine beyond the tushy bruise, or so.Stop signs are over-rated.A hamper for a garbage can? Hmmm. Sounds decorous, but is it practical?ps. …I hate Drew Carey

  2. I scoff at your sizable Jewish Community.  Only one yarmulke?  Come to New Jersey, woman.
    You must go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  I think they have a free day in the summer.  When we were there, it was a Wednesday. Bring headache meds.  And there’s a cool submarine that you can tour by the itty bitty airport.
    Have fun.

  3. Okay… I have posted a picture of the little blue men with big blue heads (some carrying tiny blue babies with antlers).

  4. Yay for vacationing in Cleveland. I’m waiting for a report from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Have a splendid time.

  5. Cleveland!  We’ll practically be vacation-neighbors!  I’ll be in Buffalo Saturday, which is three hours to the east, at the  tip of Lake Erie. I love those old rust belt cities.  Why do you say it is so obviously in the east?  Sometimes even Buffalo feels  midwestern to me.

  6. Thanks for updating. Hope you gave Dogma my message. Thank Chip for the information I didn’t think I needed to know, but now am glad I do. I can’t believe your mom kept the laundry hamper after all these years ( now a garbage can ) lol. Did they save your toys? Miss M at work has all her old toys in perfect condition, she sells them on E Bay. Have a fun rest of the trip.

  7. Cleveland sounds a lot more interesting than where I live.    And a lot more lax about the law, too.  Wish it were like that here.  The cops are evil in Pennsylvania.  -Rosy-

  8. agreed. there is no North, ya know. There is The East, The Mid-West, The South, The Southwest, The Southeast, and The West. This confused me greatly as a child growing up in Texas. I felt like I was in the South, but I wasn’t. Then I moved to Florida, which is about as far East as you can go, but that wasn’t East. And everyone there had a NY accent, even though it also as far south as you can go. But, is it the Southeast? No, I think it may be part of Cuba. Alabama might be the Southeast – or is Alabama the real south. Crap. But, what about North Dakota, you ask? It’s part of Cananda – which is why South Dakota (West-Midwest)split off. Now I am in Colorado, which is the West, even though, hello, have you looked at a map? I’m thinking we were a bit premature when we named the regions of the country – back in the days when Ohio was seventeen days away by wagon, a trip to Colorado took a year and a half (and some gigantimo pelotas), and no one had ever heard of California, I suppose it made sense. But now….Sorry for blogging in your comments. I have nothing else to do tonight. Its awesome. and where the heck is Kansas?

  9. Ahhh… second prize… two weeks in Cleveland. First prize…. one week in Cleveland!I think they call it the midwest because at one time it was the “west” to most Americans, and as people moved to the “real” west, that area clung to the “west” part of their location… it became the “middle west”.

  10. All TR comments absolutely true except the stop sign part.  RYC remsleep:  Old and tired…don’t knock it till you tried it.
    PS to RachelsMommy…Drew Carey rocks.

  11. I think the Midwest was the West when the colonies declared their independence, and then as more western areas became the west, what else could you call it but the Midwest.  I mean, “Old West” means something else, so what choice was there? 🙂

  12. It’s funny… I noticed that about the synagogues too.  It was a bit of a shock after living in a place where churches seem to outnumber people.
    And yes, Chip is well on his way to achieving his goal of growing up to be a zookeeper.  I’m not sure if you can find a musk ox at the zoo… but I’m sure Chip will remedy that when the time comes.

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