THE RABBITS GO TO WILD WAVES AND ALMOST GET EATEN BY VICIOUS KILLER FISH
As you may have noticed, it’s summer, even here in the Pacific Northwest.
In fact, Sunday was a sunny, gorgeous day with temperatures in the 80s. The perfect day to go to a water-themed
Our first stop was Uwajimaya, where we bought cooked
eel and raw tuna, which we stashed in a cooler.
What? You don’t take fish to amusement
Then we drove south for long time, during which we listened
to Eric Clapton’s From the Cradle. My five-year-old loves the song It Hurts Me Too. I hopefully asked her if she liked Clapton
better than the music her dad plays in his
car, but she would only admit to loving the one song. In her view, The Ramones still rock the
Little Bit was all in favor of going to Wild Waves until we
got there and she was faced with the reality of getting wet. She gamely spent about 2.5 minutes standing
in the wave pool with water up to her ankles, then declared herself finished. She wanted nothing to do with the huge water
slides, and the pool where you hang on a glider until you get to the middle and
then drop into the water was out of the question. I had hopes for the pirate island with very
shallow water, stuff to climb on, and lots of spraying apparatuses, but she
stuck one toe in and said it was too cold.
Oh well, Johnny Depp wasn’t there anyway.
Meanwhile, Tigger the Fearless Nine-Year-Old and her dad
rented inner tubes and went on assorted slidey wet rides, until Technogeek
foolishly turned his back on the tubes for a microsecond, during which they
were quite thoroughly stolen. Damn
Well, it was time for Dippin’ Dots anyway. If you’ve never had this confection, it
consists of tiny little frozen balls of artificial flavor and unknown other
ingredients. It comes in small, medium,
and you-should-not-be-wearing-a-swimsuit-in-public serving sizes.
Speaking of which: Note to guy with nipple rings and teeny
tiny Speedo: there may somewhere be an appropriate venue in which to display
your “package” in that manner, but the family amusement park was SO NOT
Anyway, we wandered down to the lake and discovered gum ball
machines filled with Purina Duck Chow.
So we bought some and Tigger tossed it, piece by piece, into the
water. But the ducks didn’t get any,
because the Vicious Killer Fish ate it all.
I don’t know what kind of fish these were, but there were SWARMS of
them, and they muscled each other aside and pointed their GAPING MAWS at the
sky as the duck chow rained down on them.
It was revolting.
See them, between the two posts, dozens of them with open
I was still shuddering in horror as we walked on to the
non-water rides. Like an idiot I sent
Technogeek off to ride the merry-go-round with Little Bit, while I escorted
Tigger to the ride of her choice: The
Much to my dismay, it turned out you have to have a partner
on this ride. Have I ever mentioned my
fear of heights to you people?
Not wishing to disappoint the child, I got on the ride with
her. All I can say about the experience
is, it turns out I still don’t like going up high. Or going down VERY VERY FAST. And Tigger may have bruises because I was
holding on to her so tightly. For her
own safety, of course.
When we finally escaped the park, it was time to go to our friend
Jim’s house, where we had a bbq/sushi party.
Remember the fish? I mean the
stuff in the cooler, not the Vicious Killer Fish, though god know I will never forget those foul
creatures. It was for the sushi. See, it all makes sense now.