LETTERS I’D LIKE TO SEND
Dear Mr. Chavez,
Don’t be dissing our President. He’s the most powerful dude in the world
right now. He has his faults. Many, many faults. I’m not real fond of him myself. But he doesn’t go around calling other world
leaders names. You shouldn’t
either. Give respect to get respect,
Hope this helps,
Dear Mr. Ahmadinejad,
Nobody believes your nuclear program has peaceful
intent. Nobody believes anything you
say. You are dangerous and I hope we
don’t have to go to war with you, because we can’t afford it, and we are sick
of our soldiers dying in the Middle East. Please learn to play nicely with others. Real soon.
Dear Muslim World,
It sure is easy to get you riled up. Your blood pressure must be
astronomical. Here’s a tip: if you want
people to think you are a peaceful lot, you should stop doing violent stuff. Simple, huh? I know
change is hard. Take it easy. One day at a time.
The new tv season is starting up, and I could not be less
excited about it. In the future, could
you please broadcast something other than 24-hour-a-day crap? Thank you.
Not much of a fan,
I am disappointed that you chose to poison hundreds of
consumers with improperly grown and processed
spinach shortly after I adopted a vegetable-based diet. Will I ever again look at a bright crisp
green salad without a twinge of suspicion?
Dear Xangans That Can String Two Sentences Together in a Coherent Manner,
Please post more often.