GOD IS A DEMOCRAT

 

I
think God must want the Republicans to lose control of Congress in the
upcoming-very-soon midterm election, because gifts to the Democrats
keep on falling from the sky. 

 

First
there was Mark Foley, the well-known but unreprimanded (until the media
noticed him) Republican sexual predator, debunking the Morals Party
myth. 

 

Then
the ever-loose-cannon of a Vice President told a radio interviewer that
“dunking” a prisoner was a “no-brainer” if that prisoner was a
suspected terrorist.  Everyone on the planet
as well as a number of extra-terrestrials took this as Cheney
expressing approval of the torture technique known as “waterboarding.”   Waterboarding
involves tying the prisoner to a board, tilting him head down, covering
his face to make it hard to breathe, and pouring water over his head to
make him think he’s about to drown.  It has been all over the news for weeks.  It is obviously what the interviewer was referring to when he asked the question.  Yet Cheney now claims he didn’t mean THAT.  Making Cheney a liar as well as a torture proponent.

 

Presidential mouthpiece Tony Snow also says Cheney didn’t mean THAT.  When asked what the Vice President DID mean, Snow said “a dunk in the water.”  I’m
imagining terrorism suspects placed in carnival dunk tanks, with
interrogators lobbing baseballs at the target the causes the platform
to collapse and drop the prisoner into the water.  “Tell me where Bin Laden is, or I’m hitting that clown nose DEAD ON!”

 

Just
for extra insurance, God made Rush Limbaugh say that Michael J. Fox was
faking his Parkinson’s Disease symptoms when he made a campaign video
for a Democrat who supports stem cell research.  Nothing like disparaging a famous and popular disabled person to get out the vote, Rush.

 

And so, if I may quote the eloquent Barn_Bear, “the Republicans are GOIN’ DOWN!”

 

But I didn’t come here to talk about that.  It’s
2008 I’m thinking about, and the sad fact that even if the Democrats
sweep the House and the Senate with the help of God, they will probably
still blow the presidential election, because Democrats wouldn’t
recognize a good candidate if she stood in the middle of New York and
waved “howdy.”

 

“Oh no,” they moan, “we can’t unify and get behind Hillary Clinton.  Sure,
she’s the front runner, she’s raised tons of money already, she has
universal name recognition, she’s extremely well-qualified, she’s been
an effective Senator for New York State, and her husband would make one
hell of a First Dude.  She’s got all that, but she’s a POLARIZING FIGURE.” 

 

Let me translate that for those of you that don’t speak Wimp Ass Democrat:  the Christian Right doesn’t like her.

 

They
don’t like her so much that Jerry Falwell (remember him from the Moral
Majority days before Mark Foley?) recently said that he hopes Hillary
runs because she will bring out the conservative vote (against her)
better than the Devil himself.

 

Why, reporters asked Falwell, would they hate Hillary more than THE DEVIL? 

 

Because, Falwell told the reporters, she’s PRO CHOICE, and abortion is a BIG ISSUE with those voters.

 

Since
pro-choice Democrats are a dime a dozen (I think they might actually
have to sign a pro-choice pledge to get into the party), that cannot be
the real issue with the devilish H.

 

You all know what the real issue is.  And I’m going to say it out loud.

 

Hillary is a BITCH.

 

You know what that means, don’t you?

 

Being

In

Total

Control of

Herself

 

Yes, if there’s anything the Right hates it’s a female BITCH.  The truly sad part is that the Democrats can’t even abide a male BITCH.  Hence the John Kerry candidacy of 2004.

 

And that’s why we’re looking at a McCain presidency in 2008.  Well, it could be worse.  Thank God for term limits. 

 


Edit: Visit Leonidas
today for more reasons why God wants us to knock the GOP off their high
horses.  When did squelching dissent become an American value?

 

 

 

 

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29 thoughts on “

  1. I don’t think the Democratic party has the guts to back a woman candidate. Not even in 2008. I think “polarizing figure” is just a disguise for “We think Americans aren’t ready for a woman president.”As far as gifts for democrats falling from the sky, don’t forget republican senator from Virginia, Jim Allen publically insulting an Indian-American: calling him “macaca” on TV and then saying, “Welcome to America!” He’s going down.

  2. McCain is quickly selling out himself as well. In New Hampshire he called for an extra 20,000 troops in Iraq just so he could hear the last of the Fall crickets as he was met with silence…

  3. Thanks for the recognition, TR.   I stand by my prediction. This is our year…enjoy it and worry about Hillary later if it happens.    Polar Bears unite and throw the rascals out!    Can’t wait for Nov 7th.

  4. You’re right–there’s an irrational loathing of Hillary in a lot of people, including a lot of moderates. I think some of it comes from the fact that she rose to national prominence through her husband–feminists, especially, often resent her on that account.

  5. Except that Kerry was ahead in the polls for  the race and look what happens. I’ll hold off on measuring the drapes until the election is over. And I can see the results.
    I don’t know that I want Hillary in the White House again. I’m still holding out hope for Al!

  6. None of it matters. Each point will be spun into oblivion.Like I told Leonidas…The United States has become a work of historical fiction, badly written.It would be great to see it in the cutout bin come November.

  7. I think Hillary would be a good president, but I don’t think she can win.  The Democrat most able to win in 2008, in my estimation, is Barack Obama.  In the meantime, I only hope the Dems can win enough races next month to bring the country back toward the center and lay the groundwork to bring a Democrat back into the White House in 2008.

  8. I love the BITCH saying. Have you ever read the Why Men Love Bitches books?  I first heard that acronym there. Love the books too. Great even if you’re not on a man hunt! LOL
    RYC: I’ll probably post excerpts on Xanga from my nano work. Posting the whole thing would just be too much I think. But excerpts I’ll do! :o)

  9. Although, I do know it is possible to post the entire thing on a blog post. I tried it once as a protected for a couple of people who really wanted to read the whole thing. Yep, it was like 20,000 words or something. I figured it would be truncated. I have no idea if anyone ever read it in its entirety.

  10. I think our first female president will be a Maggie Thatcher-esque Republican for the reasons you cite.  Female dems just don’t have any sort of crossover appeal. 

  11. As much as I like and respect Hillary Clinton, it would be a grave mistake to make her the presidential candidate in ’08.  I truly don’t believe that a woman will be president in my or even your lifetime.  The average American wants their president to be white, Protestant and male…period.  They will even put up with the likes of another George W. Bush if that’s the only WPM they can find.
    The Democrats have GOT to find a WPM who has a little stronger personality than Al Gore and John Kerry. Actually, although term limits are usually a good thing, I’d kill to have Bill Clinton for president again!

  12. God didn’t provide those little gifts. The media did.
    Waterboarding: better than beheading, or plastic shredding or amputation of various body parts. And I am with O’Reilly: if “waterboarding” someone helps saves countless thousands of lives, so be it. Torturing for torture sake is anathema to me, and God knows, throughout history, there have been far too many  eager candidates. However, there is the common good to be considered.
    Think of this when you consider “torture” : Imagine your child was being held for ransom somewhere, and  the police captured a collusionist who knew where she was. Would you advocate waterboarding to extract the info, after all other interrogation had failed, or would you say that you are opposed to any form of  torture on principle and be prepared to see your child die in order to protect the life and rights of a scumbag who had no problem torturing and killing your child for his own purposes?
    Hillary: not electible. Not because she is a woman, but because she is a waffling backpedalling twit, interested in very little else other than sticking her finger in the air, and getting into power.  Like most liberals. And she is married to old billy Bub.  Actually, Hillary is not a BITCH. I would respect her more if she were. (you have probably read this week that Hillary now supports gay marriage, even though she  was”opposed” to it up until a few days ago…ask yourself why..
    If only Condie would run.  Now *there* is a woman I truly respect.

  13. Heh.  Yeah, waterboarding is better than beheading, so it must be okay.
    I’m personally not all that excited about Hillary.  Yes, she’s got name recognition and Bill to campaign for her.  But I can’t think of anything in particular she’s done as senator that would make me want to vote for her.  
    Of course, we might see more of what she can do in a Democrat-controlled senate. 

  14. If the Dems can’t take 2008, I may well shoot myself. Honestly, I am proud of what the Democratic platform typically stands for, and don’t understand why we can’t be running on THAT – a good, solid platform. Really! And we have some good candidates, finally! Hillary, Obama. . .C’mon! If we lose ’08, I will jump. I swear it.

  15. This was worth waiting for. I don’t like Hillary personally, but then I didn’t like Clinton either. When he was running, I told someone he had “wandering eyes,” having been around enough men with wandering eyes to recognize them even over the tv screen. Proved me right, unfortunately. I’d rather he’d proved me wrong. I think just being female is, unfortunately, enough “cause” in their minds, let alone the BITCH part. But I also don’t think she IS in total control, otherwise I’d like her more. But I’ll vote for nearly anyone this time around to get the Republicans out. And I say that as a die-hard atheist capitalist. Somehow, the “lesser of two evils” becomes non-die-hard-capitalist after seeing what the religious will do. I just wish Carter could run again. Hell, keep the lust in your heart. We don’t care!

  16. As Anna Quindlen pointed out, the wouldn’t-vote-for-a-woman-for-president contingent overlaps significantly with the Hillary-hating contingent, which in turn overlaps significantly with the wouldn’t-vote-Democratic-if-God-himself-were-running contingent.  She only has to convince Democrats and swing voters to vote for her.  I’m not sure if she could pull that off or not, but it would be interesting to watch.
    I think Barack Obama would be a better choice, if he ends up running.  Heck, he’s at least as qualified as John Edwards was.  And he would have more mass appeal than Hillary.  (The wouldn’t-vote-for-a-black-man contingent overlapping considerably with the don’t-vote-because-they’re-too-busy-stockpiling-weapons-and-preparing-for-Armageddon contingent.)  I would be worried about the GOP if Obama was nominated.  I wouldn’t worry if HIllary was nominated.  Well, I wouldn’t worry about her winning.  I’d only worry about what atrocious ads they’d run against her and how I’d feel almost morally obligated to vote for her because they’d been so mean to her.  That might not be a bad strategy, now that I think on it.  Hm.
    I don’t carry water for Mark Foley, but I think it is reaching to call him a “sexual predator.”  He’s a gay man, attracted to physically mature young males.  “A creepy lecher” is more accurate.  He was never truly a part of the Morals Party anyway, as he’s not a social conservative. 

  17. For some strange, masochistic reason, I’ve been listening to a lot of conservative talk radio lately…  don’t ask… I can’t explain it…
    I just heard them talking about Michael J Fox the other night – the commentators were so rediculously uninformed about everything they talked about! It was shameful!  They didn’t know apparantly that there are unused embryos that get destroyed all the time with in vitro fertilization. They didn’t know that more things than just medication or lack of medication have an influence on Parkinson’s symptoms… They acted like somehow it’s wrong to try to make a point when you’re making a commercial!  All pretending or not pretending aside, the point of having Michael J Fox do the commercial is that we all know he has the disease!  DUH! 

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