GOD IS A DEMOCRAT
think God must want the Republicans to lose control of Congress in the
upcoming-very-soon midterm election, because gifts to the Democrats
keep on falling from the sky.
there was Mark Foley, the well-known but unreprimanded (until the media
noticed him) Republican sexual predator, debunking the Morals Party
the ever-loose-cannon of a Vice President told a radio interviewer that
“dunking” a prisoner was a “no-brainer” if that prisoner was a
suspected terrorist. Everyone on the planet
as well as a number of extra-terrestrials took this as Cheney
expressing approval of the torture technique known as “waterboarding.” Waterboarding
involves tying the prisoner to a board, tilting him head down, covering
his face to make it hard to breathe, and pouring water over his head to
make him think he’s about to drown. It has been all over the news for weeks. It is obviously what the interviewer was referring to when he asked the question. Yet Cheney now claims he didn’t mean THAT. Making Cheney a liar as well as a torture proponent.
Presidential mouthpiece Tony Snow also says Cheney didn’t mean THAT. When asked what the Vice President DID mean, Snow said “a dunk in the water.” I’m
imagining terrorism suspects placed in carnival dunk tanks, with
interrogators lobbing baseballs at the target the causes the platform
to collapse and drop the prisoner into the water. “Tell me where Bin Laden is, or I’m hitting that clown nose DEAD ON!”
for extra insurance, God made Rush Limbaugh say that Michael J. Fox was
faking his Parkinson’s Disease symptoms when he made a campaign video
for a Democrat who supports stem cell research. Nothing like disparaging a famous and popular disabled person to get out the vote, Rush.
And so, if I may quote the eloquent Barn_Bear, “the Republicans are GOIN’ DOWN!”
But I didn’t come here to talk about that. It’s
2008 I’m thinking about, and the sad fact that even if the Democrats
sweep the House and the Senate with the help of God, they will probably
still blow the presidential election, because Democrats wouldn’t
recognize a good candidate if she stood in the middle of New York and
“Oh no,” they moan, “we can’t unify and get behind Hillary Clinton. Sure,
she’s the front runner, she’s raised tons of money already, she has
universal name recognition, she’s extremely well-qualified, she’s been
an effective Senator for New York State, and her husband would make one
hell of a First Dude. She’s got all that, but she’s a POLARIZING FIGURE.”
Let me translate that for those of you that don’t speak Wimp Ass Democrat: the Christian Right doesn’t like her.
don’t like her so much that Jerry Falwell (remember him from the Moral
Majority days before Mark Foley?) recently said that he hopes Hillary
runs because she will bring out the conservative vote (against her)
better than the Devil himself.
Why, reporters asked Falwell, would they hate Hillary more than THE DEVIL?
Because, Falwell told the reporters, she’s PRO CHOICE, and abortion is a BIG ISSUE with those voters.
pro-choice Democrats are a dime a dozen (I think they might actually
have to sign a pro-choice pledge to get into the party), that cannot be
the real issue with the devilish H.
You all know what the real issue is. And I’m going to say it out loud.
Hillary is a BITCH.
You know what that means, don’t you?
Yes, if there’s anything the Right hates it’s a female BITCH. The truly sad part is that the Democrats can’t even abide a male BITCH. Hence the John Kerry candidacy of 2004.
And that’s why we’re looking at a McCain presidency in 2008. Well, it could be worse. Thank God for term limits.
Edit: Visit Leonidas
today for more reasons why God wants us to knock the GOP off their high
horses. When did squelching dissent become an American value?