Dear TR,


Were you ever mean to other kids when you were a child?

–Buckling Under Large Loads of Incredibly Evil Salamanders





Yes, yes I was.  I remember once the whole class was pretending to “sanitize” some items this one girl had touched.  Cootie control, I guess.  I went right along with it.  I had nothing against the girl in question.  I was just glad it wasn’t me.  I was just a little kid… nine years old.


Another time, in Junior High, I made a cruel remark to a girl who had said something friendly to me in the stairwell.  She wasn’t well liked but since I wasn’t generally a mean kid, she must have thought I was safe to talk to.  I
don’t remember what I said, but I remember clearly, with much
shame, the expression on her face: hurt and disappointment mixed
with resignation, like she thought she should have known better.


For the last week, some kids have been mean to my daughter.  She’s always been a happy and popular kid, so this is new to her, and somewhat shocking.  They are just little girls, nine years old.  I hope that someday they remember her hurt expression with regret.






16 thoughts on “

  1. I don’t envy you. This seemed to be the longest ‘phase’.If I had a nickel for every time I said, “I promise it will get better when you get to high school.”I’d have at least one semester of college tuition.(Where it will get better.)

  2. Oh yes, I remember being on both sides of that coin. And both my children have had their turns as well. But they are good little humans, and seem to learn the lessons they should be about such things. One can only hope that the meanies out there are learning something as well.

  3. What a good atitude you have about your daughter getting hurt. I was mean many times as a kid and feel awful about it today, however when other kids were mean to my kids, I wanted to hurt them back. I was devestated and over reacted, I mean I never hurt the kids but I think I over reacted to my kids. I would say things like ” well you can just tell little Susie that your mommy saw her picking her nose and that she is a gross cootie kid” Live and learn. Hopefully, they will rememeber me as a mom who cared, not the psyco mom who freaked out whenever a kid was mean to them. Or they will be in therapy, probably the later.

  4. I can’t believe you were ever mean to anyone.  You were a very good child, exceptional actually, as was your brother.  I’m really not just saying this because I’m your mother!  It really is true.

  5. And they’d damn well better. I was never the picker, only the pickee, until I got older and I became the bully’s bully. Here’s hoping every smartass twit who ever picked on me has grown the fuck up and at least regretted it a little.

  6. I just don’t understand why kids are so cruel, myself as a kid included.  But it seems to be especially worse nowadays.  Movies like “Mean Girls” don’t do it justice, because in real like, there isn’t usually a moral ending to things like that.

  7. It’s a temporary hurt for Tigger but unfortunately she will remember it for the rest of her life…as you did.  There will always be mean kids but she’ll get over it and be a stronger person.   She is a wonderful child.

  8. RYCThanks for the birthday wish. I see you’re listening to the ANTI-Brian Wilson, Mr. Morrison.I love ’em both. Never in the same sitting though. Hmmm. “I wish they all could be LA Women?”

  9. Its really something to think about – I remember being a big small kid I got teased alot. But it never lasted very long. Because big small kids that learn how to kick punching bags also learn how to smack the crap out of nasty-name-calling buggerats. So the teasing didn’t last long either. But then again being beaten up/beating people up in school is just common stuff – except that I was a girl. But my parents (esp Dad) wasn’t concerned – he wanted me to be able to stick up for myself and give a good socking to anyone to dared try to make me feel small. Strange way of bringing up a girl, but I know a few select girls who are brought up the same way too – people in general think we’re “unfeminine”, but we’ve got mates who love us for our balls-attached. I wanna bring up my daughter the same way too, when I have one.

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