My brother’s post about frozen felines has particular relevance to me today, because our eldest and evilest cat is having some difficulty with this week’s frigid weather.  It is so frigid my kids have been out of school for two days.  It is so frigid I nearly caused a fender-bender yesterday, because I put my foot down on the brake but my van kept on going on the ice.  It is so cold that Sophie wanted to come in.


(Confidential to S__Diddy: I no longer believe in Global Warming.)


Sophie, age 15, is an elegant, petite cat and the mother of our other two, distinctly unpetite kitties.  She’s cranky and mean.  Were she human she’d be the old lady yelling at the kids to get out of her !@#$ yard.  In her younger days she could kick the ass of any tomcat in the neighborhood and often did.  She hunted with such agility that she could leap six feet straight up to snag a juicy moth.  She survived any number of injuries and several illnesses that would’ve killed a lesser cat.


Much as we admire the old woman, we don’t allow her in the house much.  Ever the independent iconoclast, Sophie disdains modern conveniences used by softer cats.  “Litter boxes are for suckers,” she snarls, and promptly urinates on whatever strikes her fancy.  Hence, Sophie receives her ration of the high-priced, foul-smelling prescription food the vet recommends on the front porch.  She spends her days roaming the cul de sac, but thankfully doesn’t fight with other cats anymore.


About a month ago we became concerned that Sophie was looking wan and not enjoying the colder weather.  We bought her one of those igloo shaped dog (ahem, cat) houses and installed it between the shrubbery and the house, where she likes to sleep.  If our neighbors object to this violation of zoning laws, they haven’t spoken up.  Sophie seems to like her house and has even posted a tiny “no soliciting” sign on the door to keep the missionaries away.


This cold snap, though, has made her miserable.  Usually, after she gets fed, she stomps off without saying “thank you.”  This morning after her food arrived and the ice in her bowl was replaced with liquid water, she stayed on the porch, whined, and even scratched at the door.  It broke my heart, but not enough to let her pee all over my house.


We took out the crate we use to haul cats to the vet, set it up in the living room with towels, water, and catnip, and put Sophie in it.  Kitty prison, to be sure, but she looks quite warm and happy (and a bit stoned, if you must know).  It may be an undignified way for a cat of Sophie’s former stature to spend the day, but it beats becoming a catsickle.


(In case you were wondering, the cat in the profile pic is not Sophie but her son, who is as big a scaredy cat as ever lived.)





23 thoughts on “

  1. Boy, am I glad I’m further south in Portland, where it’s nice and wa–oh, wait.
    When I was growing up, all our cats were outdoor cats.  I was actually surprised to learn how many people let their cats live in the people house.  (?!)
    RYC – I may have to cut my own celebration short, as I don’t think I can suck much more marrow out of this pigsty without getting sick.

  2. I’m with you.  It was 20 degrees when I got to work this morning and never got above freezing.  That being said, I’m becoming convinced of the basic premise of global warming.  Fortunately I’m accustomed to cognitive dissonance…

  3. What you mean ‘what’?In my hood we get animal control to drop off those (traps) cages….But we’re not fond of cat shit in our planters and dead birds and rabbits strewn about the yard. Or were you talking about the red hair again?

  4. We called ours Grumpy Grandma when she got like that. She never did lose her civilities though, and died at the ripe age of 18. Another younger one decided (or made me decide) she was better off outside. She took a distinct dislike to the new younger kitties and decided to mark her territory inside.

  5. It was 50 degrees here today.  We had a little snow at the beginning of the week, but that’s all.  Not enough to even get Mr. Bair, (I swear) out plow guy, out of his nice warm cave, or wherever it is he hibernates.  When you live in Cleveland, global warming really doesn’t seem so bad…unless you are a polar bear.

  6. Goodness, I hope you don’t mind, but I am “tagging” you ~ if you consent to play please stop by my space for the “rules” and deviate from them as and if you wish of course!!  6 weird things about you….  *gasp*  only 6? 
    loveeeeee the new GREEN space here it vibrates cozy mmmmmm feelings… I am definitely a color person.

  7. As a natural enemy of global warming, most polar bears welcome the ice and snow.  This bear, however, likes his cozy fireplace and hot toddy.    Cleveland thanks El Nino for our tropical winter.  Stay warm out there in the frosty Northwest. 

  8. Awwww da poor puddy tat Actually, the catnip thing sounds pretty tempting. I honor Her Majesty’s regal behavior… but even a Queen needs a warm soft place to get stoned every now and then.

  9. We had to do that with a male cat that sprayed all over the house. He was friendly and loving but stinky. We put him in the basement in a large cage when it was really cold. We were sad when he died but on the other hand, our lives got easier.

  10. Crazy cat guy died right before the holidays.  So between that, and the 4 inches of ice and snow, mostly sleet, and the temperatures below 0, our cat population has begun to shrink. (Hope yours is OK though.) I would love to see a little global warming at this time……(o:  Not necessarily for the cats, but for my sanity.  Living in a very rural area, my child will be out of school until the ice melts and since it isn’t supposed to be warmer than 20 degrees in the near future, I could have her home until spring. Need I say more……?

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