DON’T LET YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO BE MOVIE STARS
I didn’t mention this before because I didn’t want to whine (though now, apparently, I do want to whine). I have the flu. I’ve been sick for days with the usual gamut of fever/sore throat/runny everything/coughing misery. And my husband is out of town. That means:
- I have 100% responsibility for the care and feeding of the children and livestock (ok, actually Tigger feeds the hamster). And
- Because of #1, I can’t dose myself with Nyquil and sleep through the whole viral extravaganza. Just imagine how the mornings would go:
“Mommy? Mommy? MOMMYYYYYY, get up. We’re hungry. We have to be driven to school. We have to have an adult look at us and smile indulgently while we do cute, not-so-cute, and downright obnoxious things. We need someone to break up our squabbles. MOMMMMM, no more Nyquil for you! GET UP!”
So I’ve been muddling through with Sudafed PE. I
don’t know what PE stands for, but I do know that, unlike non-PE
Sudafed, they let you buy the stuff without a background check and a
strip search. So that’s what I’ve got.
I dropped the girls off at school, I returned home and climbed into bed
with a cup of tea and the latest DVD I received from Netflix, Brokeback Mountain. (Usually
when I’m home sick I watch the daytime talk shows, but once you’ve seen
“My Baby Daddy Hooked Up With My Mama’s Boyfriend’s Hairdresser” once,
you really don’t need a repeat.) And usually Technogeek and I watch our movie rentals together, but he gave me permission to watch this one by myself.
It’s not surprising that straight guys don’t dig this film. It’s a romance, after all, and therefore clearly a chick flick. They could chill about the gay sex, though. It’s not explicit, and in fact there are more hetero sex scenes than gay ones. And Anne Hathaway gets naked. What’s to complain about?
The real problem for guys is the fishing trips. See,
Ennis’s wife confronts him with the fact that, after five years of
“fishing” trips with Jack, his gear still has price tags on it. How
many men who regularly disappear for a weekend or a week to go
“fishing” cast a nervous sidelong glance at their wives during that scene?
Back when the rest of the world was talking about Brokeback, women everywhere engaged in a single topic of conversation: which gay cowboy is hotter? Maybe it’s the germs talking, but I didn’t think much of either taciturn Ennis or simpering-puppy-eyes Jack.
I prefer my dear husband, who rarely gives anyone soulful looks and who speaks in complete sentences, but alas, he’s not here. He’s on a “business” trip. In Texas. If he comes home wearing boots with heels, he’s in trouble.