STUPID HUMAN TRICKS, PART TOO NUMEROUS TO MENTION

 

Since my husband rarely arrives before 9, I was dismayed when I heard his car pull in at 7:30 pm.  I met him at the door.

 

“There’s an explanation for this,” I said.

 

The look he gave me can only be described as “askance.”

 

Surveying the scene, he noted the wide open windows, the roaring of various fans, and that smell.

 

“What did you DO?” he asked.

 

“I can explain!” I said.

 

He waited.

 

I began, “Well, Tigger called her friend Lulu to find out why she wasn’t in school.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“And Lulu said she wasn’t in school because she has lice.”

 

“Mmm hmm….” His eyebrow went up.

 

“And so I had to check Tigger’s head for lice.”

 

“Uh huh….”

 

“So I combed through her hair with the nit comb.” 

 

“Yeah….”  He began to look impatient.

 

“So when I was done, I wanted to sterilize the comb, even though I didn’t find anything, just, you know, because.”

 

His expression reflected increasing comprehension.

 

“So I put it in a pot of water and turned on the burner.”

 

“Ah,” he achieved full comprehension.

 

“And then I left the room.”

 

“I see…”

 

“The pot boiled dry and then the comb…”

 

“Melted it, did you?”  Truth be told, the odor told the whole story.

 

I showed him the fragments that remained of the red plastic-handled nit comb.  He seemed pleased.

 

“What are you smiling about?” I asked him.

 

“It wasn’t MY fault!”


 

BREAKING NEWS

 

Xanga now allows us non-premium-paying peons to subscribe to 20 blogrings!  I went looking for some new ones to join and, well, I had to start one instead.  Feel free to join the I Need A New Blogring blogring.

 


In other news, Dick Cheney’s former Chief of Staff I. Lewis Libby has been convicted of perjury and obstructing justice.  As a result, he has officially changed his nickname from “Scooter” to “Red Shirt.”

 

NOTE: If you are excessively young, or you failed to spend your formative years watching old Star Trek episodes, you won’t get the joke.  However, you may be better off for it.


People, I can’t believe you don’t know about red shirts.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redshirt_(character)

http://red.shirt.society.fanspace.com/

 

 

 

 

 

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30 thoughts on “

  1. The last thing I need is an I Need a New Blogring blogring, but that’s me.  On the other hand, I share vicariously in your husband’s feeling of elation that something happened that wasn’t his fault.  Oh what a gift it was, that you gave him!  Oh for Barbara to be so kind to me.  Just once!
    I love you, in case I haven’t told you that in a while.  Thanks for commenting on the Dowd column published at blip32962 the other day.

  2. I cooked a plastic spatula once.  Why do they make plastic spatulas that can burn?  What’s the point?  But yeah, it smelled up the place like no other.  
    ryc:  Thanks for the birthday wishes.  It was a good day.  There was cake!  🙂

  3. LOL!! My brother’s roomate, an artist, once thought he’d invent a new sculture medium and tried to melt a plastic soda bottle in a saucepan. It didn’t work. Now he makes films.Great blogring.

  4. FOMCLMAO!! I got it! Being a Trekkie since the beginning, I got it!
    Melted that comb, did you? LOL have you ever melted the pot? She asked raising her hand and proudly answering, “You bet *I* have!”

  5. LOL @ redshirt.  In college, players that are benched for a year because of poor grades are also called reshirts. 

  6. I don’t get it. And I can’t even use “excessively young” as an excuse, although I *did* watch a lot of Star Trek reruns. I guess I wasn’t paying attention.

  7. I too am a Treker having watched every episode ever made.   I’m on good terms with all species including Klingons, Romulans, Vulcans,  Borg and even the Grizzlys but I don’t get Scooter/Red Shirt.   A hint please.

  8. AHA……Red shirt huh?    Now it’s clear….those characters were always marked for doom but never heard that term before.   I’ve now sent all my red shirts to the White House to put them on notice for the next election. 

  9. I once created havoc when playing Red Indian in the garden and a plastic bag got caught in the fire….then a huge bonfire and white smoke and lots of coughing.

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