THE DATE NIGHT ULTIMATUM

 

We don’t go out much, TGeek and I.  When we do get the opportunity to spend an evening sans children, we sometimes stare at each other blankly, wondering what it is people do when nobody is clambering for pizza or just one more game of Uno.

 

We shook ourselves out of it and went to the Seattle Crab Co., a restaurant we avoided for several years because when Little Bit was 2 she had a meltdown of monumental proportions there and we were afraid they might call the police if we came back.  Luckily, the staff has turned over since then and nobody remembered us.  We walked gingerly by the table where the MOMP took place took place so as not to pick up any remaining negative energy.

 

The food was ok and I for one was happy to be able to consume all I wanted without having to get up and drag a screaming toddler outside for fresh air therapy. 

 

Then we visited one of those places, I forget what they’re called, where they show movies on great big screens in an auditorium instead of on 27 inch screens in living rooms.  We saw The Bourne Ultimatum.

 

Important elements of this film included: artsy close-ups of people’s eyes shot over somebody else’s shoulder; frenetic and jerky camera work; endless chase scenes; constant extreme violence that miraculously produced very little blood, thereby giving the film a PG-13 rating; a super-hero protagonist who miraculously never got seriously hurt no matter how many speeding cars he crashed, windows he smashed through to escape (see endless chase scenes, above), or bad guys tried really hard to kill him; and Matt Damon, who never even took off his shirt.  What’s UP with that?

 

We had a little time left after the movie so we stopped in the lounge of the Chinese restaurant across the parking lot.

 

Important elements of this bar included: a hugely fat young man explaining to the moronic cocktail waitress, who declared she was NOT a feminist, that the feminists of the past had done all the fighting for her and she didn’t even appreciate it; two irritated-looking middle-aged men who wanted to watch sports, not karaoke; and karaoke.  Alas, we had to leave, quickly.

 

You might now be peering through your computer screen into my house and wondering, “well where’s TGeek now that you’re home and the kids are in bed?”

 

It seems TGeek has a coworker who plays in a band, and that band is performing downtown.  I couldn’t go because we had to pick the kids up from their Undisclosed Location at 10:30, and besides it’s a METAL band.  Like the high-speed blurry special effects in the movie didn’t give me a big enough headache.  So I’m spending the rest of the evening with you, Xanga friends. 

 

Break out the tequila.

 

 

 

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22 thoughts on “

  1. Friday I took my oldest granddaughter to see Becoming Jane, which we both enjoyed–genteel, beautifully filmed. . . a movie my husband wasn’t particularly interested in seeing.When he and I met up again, he’d taken himself to see the Bourne Ultimatum and said I wouldn’t have enjoyed it or understood it. Your mini-review confirms that. Glad you had an interesting evening OUT. . .

  2. What a letdown! It looked for awhile like this evening was really going somewhere, then derailed. You’re taking it very well, though. The secret to happiness is lowered expectations. Glad you could have an evening out, sounds like fun!
    RYC. Humiliation is really not an emotion I’ve experienced in cows. They are usualy content and meek, happy if you keep them in their routine, demanding if you depart from it. I’m sad for cows in factory daries of course, their lives are spent on concrete under mercury lighting 24/7. But humiliation, I expect any creature that is already as humble as a bovine is, won’t give it a second thought.

  3. Little Bit?  A meltdown?  Must have been some other toddler.
    Yours is the second comment I’ve seen on the camera work in Bourne Ultimatum.  I’m definitely saving it for a rental.  (Yeah, like I was going to see the inside of one of those whaddayacallem big-screen places anytime soon anyway…)

  4. Very funny post. I am now longing for a real-life, grownups only date with my honey! RYC: I didn’t read the reviews, but I can guess that the second and third parts of the book were not as well received as the first third; the first third of the book is a page-turner, while the pace in the rest slows down, has a lot of factual detail about genealogical research, etc. But I found it interesting, the way she divided the material, and (I think, though I obviously can’t read her mind) why and how she organized the book as she did. I hope you find it as compelling as I did, if you try it. Lisa

  5. I can honestly say that I didn’t notice that Matt Damon didn’t take his shirt off, but I’ve sat through three of these movies down and Julia Stiles hasn’t been naked ONCE!

  6. I like my tequilla watered down in a margerita. . .with salt.  I’d love to have one with you sometime.
    I remembered the jerky camera work, but I had almost forgotten that the last Bourne movie I saw gave me a headache too.  Come to think of it, I came away complaining that Matt Damon hadn’t smiled one time in the whole movie.  What’s the joy of seeing Matt Damon on the big screen, if he’s not going to flash that big ole smile (OR take off his shirt ;).  One other thought I’d had was that I don’t have that fighting instinct of the action heros.  Maybe the kill or be killed survival instinct kicks in when you’re in crisis, but I sometimes find action movies so exhausting, that I’m thinking, “Oh, just give up.  Somebody kill him already.”  Having said that, I still want to see “Bourne Ultimatum.”  Rental maybe –then I won’t get the headache.

  7. How does the topic of feminism come up between a moronic cocktail waitress and an obese male customer? I’m so curious how that conversation started. SD and I are supposed to see the Bourne Ultimatum next time we go to the picture show. I wanted to see Harry Potter but apparently it’s already on its way out. Since it’s been, like, a month already. I shrug at Matt Damon. For me, it’s all about Rupert Grint. Just kidding.

  8. If you hadn’t moved 2500 miles away from your mother, you’d be able to stay out later than 10:30.  Maybe even till midnight.  Maybe even all night, since you could just drop them off and pick them up the next day, or in a few days. Or whenever.  Just an observation…designed to make you so very, very sorry, and a little guilty, too.  As your mother  this is, of course,  my job.

  9. What IS the name of that place with the big screens where they show movies? We went to one of those this weekend (we actually had a real babysitter!) – The Simpson’s Movie. Hmm. Good episode, not great movie! We forgot we hadn’t yet seen the latest Harry Potter. We have our hopes pinned on next weekend!

  10. I’m remembering being at the stage you’re at with your kids. Right now, mine’s fourteen and the last thing she wants to do is spend time with us. Weirdly enough, you start to miss being needed all the time. I know that sounds insane, but give it ten years.
    At any rate, enjoy the peace and quiet while you’ve got it.

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