THE DATE NIGHT ULTIMATUM
We don’t go out much, TGeek and I. When we do get the opportunity to spend an evening sans children, we sometimes stare at each other blankly, wondering what it is people do when nobody is clambering for pizza or just one more game of Uno.
We shook ourselves out of it and went to the Seattle Crab Co., a restaurant we avoided for several years because when Little Bit was 2 she had a meltdown of monumental proportions there and we were afraid they might call the police if we came back. Luckily, the staff has turned over since then and nobody remembered us. We walked gingerly by the table where the MOMP took place took place so as not to pick up any remaining negative energy.
The food was ok and I for one was happy to be able to consume all I wanted without having to get up and drag a screaming toddler outside for fresh air therapy.
Then we visited one of those places, I forget what they’re called, where they show movies on great big screens in an auditorium instead of on 27 inch screens in living rooms. We saw The Bourne Ultimatum.
Important elements of this film included: artsy close-ups of people’s eyes shot over somebody else’s shoulder; frenetic and jerky camera work; endless chase scenes; constant extreme violence that miraculously produced very little blood, thereby giving the film a PG-13 rating; a super-hero protagonist who miraculously never got seriously hurt no matter how many speeding cars he crashed, windows he smashed through to escape (see endless chase scenes, above), or bad guys tried really hard to kill him; and Matt Damon, who never even took off his shirt. What’s UP with that?
We had a little time left after the movie so we stopped in the lounge of the Chinese restaurant across the parking lot.
Important elements of this bar included: a hugely fat young man explaining to the moronic cocktail waitress, who declared she was NOT a feminist, that the feminists of the past had done all the fighting for her and she didn’t even appreciate it; two irritated-looking middle-aged men who wanted to watch sports, not karaoke; and karaoke. Alas, we had to leave, quickly.
You might now be peering through your computer screen into my house and wondering, “well where’s TGeek now that you’re home and the kids are in bed?”
It seems TGeek has a coworker who plays in a band, and that band is performing downtown. I couldn’t go because we had to pick the kids up from their Undisclosed Location at 10:30, and besides it’s a METAL band. Like the high-speed blurry special effects in the movie didn’t give me a big enough headache. So I’m spending the rest of the evening with you, Xanga friends.
Break out the tequila.