Back when this seemingly endless election season started, I wondered when the religiosos would realize that they could vote for a real live right-wing Christian instead of the phony plastic made-for-tv version known as Mitt Romney.  At the time I thought they would eventually key in on Sam Brownback, because a.) I had heard of him, and b.) I thought Huckabee was a silly name.  A few months later Brownback dropped out of the race while Captain Plastic racked up points in the polls.  But now it seems they’ve finally noticed Mike Huckabee.  Too bad he’s a blithering idiot.


Back in 1992, before he knew he wanted to be President and could therefore say what he really believed, Huckabee suggested that AIDS patients should be segregated from the general public, that the search for a vaccine or cure for AIDS was receiving entirely too much funding, and that “homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk.”


When challenged about these remarks recently, he refused to recant any of them.  He explained that back in 1992 we didn’t know that AIDS could not be spread through casual contact. 


Yes, actually, we did.  Unfortunately, Mike Huckabee was ignorant of that fact.


About funding for AIDS research, he said “I want to make sure that when we look at a disease — whether it is AIDS, diabetes or cancer — we look at it from the macro perspective, and we don’t just single out one thing that affects, in America, you know, about 5,000 people a year.”


Let me help you with your math, Mike.  The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has been estimating 40,000 new HIV infections every year in the United States for more than a decade.  Just a few weeks ago they announced that they believe they’ve been underestimating the real incidence of infection by as much as 50%.  And Mike, HIV/AIDS is not like coming down with strep throat or something.  Once “affected,” you are affected forever.  Currently more that one million people in the United States have the disease.


When I read the bit about homosexuality, I immediately thought of my boss—I’ll call her Cathy.  Just last week Cathy retired after 12 years as Executive Director of the AIDS service organization I work for. 


At her retirement party, speaker after speaker went to the podium to laud Cathy’s achievements.  A deeply religious woman (she began her career as a nun) and a nurse, Cathy spent her entire working life caring for others.  The most touching speech was made by Cathy’s (female) partner of 30(!) years.  It seems their retirement plans do not include aberration, sin, and threatening the health of the public.  Instead they will be busy with travel, long-neglected household projects, and quietly living out the remainder of their lives together. 


So bite me, Mr. Huckabee.  If the GOP nominates you, as I’m beginning to suspect they will, I look forward to watching the far more astute Ms. Clinton dip your head in a bucket and mop the floor with you.  After all, cleaning up is women’s work.



25 thoughts on “HUCK YOU

  1. Ha, ha.  O.K. that last paragraph made me laugh pretty hard.  It’s funny b/c about 3 minutes ago, Papa Bear was just saying that he didn’t think that Huckabee was very well informed.  Actually, I think his exact words were, “He’s always saying DUMB stuff.” . . .And we ARE the religious right. 😉

  2. I too hope I’m underestimating the general public, because I don’t think Hilary can win, and even if he wasn’t such an ass, “President Huckabee” sounds like something Mark Twain dreamed up!

  3. He’s not a good choice for the “run of the mill” rebublican.  I hope people don’t just cue in on his faith as being a reason to vote for him.  If he’s nominated, no matter who the dems nominate, it will be like Super Bowl XXIV where the 9rs kicked the shit outta the Broncos 55-10; it will be an embarassment for the GOP.
    Ron Paul vs Kucinich  😉

  4. I heart Huckabee because he shows just what the run of the mill GOP voter is made of.  As someone who door knocks and campaigns I can assure you that when you go to the door of a Midwest Republican he or she will say the very things Huckabee says.  They will also add “I’m very informed.”

  5. Yes, Huckabee is the Democrats’ dream GOP candidate.  Even Hillary could beat him.  If he wins the nomination, not even Chuck Norris’s roundhouse kick will save us.
    P.S.  Mitt isn’t plastic.  He’s just that righteous. 

  6. With respect to homosexuality, I think that Huckabee objects to the “gay sex” angle more than the “travel” and “long-neglected household projects” parts of it.  I also heard that he thought Tom Hanks was terrible in Philadelphia

  7. Being an ex-Southern Baptist Minister myself I did what I always do when I hear a Southern Baptist Minister is running for public office; I put a large strand of garlic around my neck and and a crucifix in my pocket.

  8. I also did a double-take when I heard Huckabee’s claim that nobody knew better in 1992.  Maybe he was thinking of 1982.  Or 1984.
    If he’d had the power, I wonder how Huck would have gone about segregating all those people from the general public.  Leper colonies?  An island just for HIV/AIDS patients?  Confine them to a major American city? 
    I can see it now… “Escape from San Francisco” starring Kurt Russell:  “Snake Plissken!  I thought you were dead!”  “Nah, just HIV Positive so far.”

  9. President Huckabee sounds like a character from a Dr. Seuss book. He’s a Baptist, and the only problem with Baptists is that they don’t hold them under long enough. Hillary? Oh please help us if she gets in. There are only two candidates in America that deserve to be president (read that, are actually intelligent enough to do the job right) and they are, Joe Biden and Ron Paul. I was backing Biden for awhile there, but I think Ron Paul makes a lot more damn sense. Sure, he’s Republican, but he isn’t a Rethugnican like that moron we have in the office now.
    The reason I don’t like Hillary is this. She has such a caustic reputation with the GOP that should she get elected, we will continue to have four more years of nothing getting accomplished in Washington. Like it has been for the past twenty years. All this infighting across the aisles is such a drain on the country.

  10. Huckabee and Romney scare me…Hey, I thought of a rhyme…nah; it’s too petty.  Wait, am I in the limelight? No. Does anyone really care what I think?Not really.  Might it give a few people some joy?  Sure.  Would Jesus mind?  Actually, Huckabee and Romney are pretty darn close to the Pharisee profile,so I think Jesus would be snickering, and not even behind his hand.  Here goes:Huckabee and Romney sittin’ in a treeK-I-S-S-I-N-G…Oh, I can’t finish; it’s too hokey.

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