WHERE’S MY DAMN VALIUM?

Anyway, it’s Erma Bombeck contest time.  I swear there was a time when I knew how to write funny.  I don’t know what happened.  I can’t even remember the last time I wrote a funny entry.  Yeah, you might be thinking, “well duh, everyone knows feminists have no sense of humor,” but I’ve been a feminist since I was about six and Free to Be You and Me came out, and I’ve definitely been funny in the interim.

Competition Guidelines

  • Personal essay that is previously unpublished, or has only been published since January 1, 2007
  • 450 words or fewer (as determined by Microsoft Word word count tool)
  • Two categories for entry:
    • Humor
    • Human Interest

Somebody throw me a topic.  Or a valium.  Something.

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13 thoughts on “WHERE’S MY DAMN VALIUM?

  1. Oh gawd… I don’t even remeber how anymore, let alone what about… Sorry, wrong gal.But hey, good luck with that… again. 😉

  2. Robot parts ~So it’s really a project in the making.  I don’t know how they will end up but I do know that I am going to finally get them started.I’m building them with a hidden compartment.  I’m spray painting them solid colors (black, hot pink, white or silver depending) & adding silver & other odd colored bits & bobs to them.  They will stand from 6 inches tall to 36 inches tall depending on parts & whatnots.  Right now my hands are misted with spray paint & design ideas are dancing in my head.  But who knows what will happen between tonight & when they are finished.  I’m sure I’ll post pictures of them.  Well, pretty sure.  🙂

  3. I originally subscribed to you because of the rabbit picture, why not write about rabbits.  Some of the funniest stories are pet stories.Also, a day running errands can be full of mishaps that can be seen (written) as humorous.Good luck.

  4. You can do this.  I have read funny entries of yours.  Erma wrote about everyday things.  Write about something that happened to you that could happen to anyone, I just ran into a bunch of people at the grocery store and looked like crap ( who hasn’t had that experience?)  Being sick at the same time as the kids.  Husband ( always something good there).  You know normal things.  Vacations ( and mishaps) are always funny.  You’ll be fine.   Good luck.

  5. I think it’s seven years of George W. Bush that have made you cranky.
    Don’t have a clue what you should write about.  And if I did, I’d probably write about it myself.  No offense.
    My valium expired and I had to throw it out.  Otherwise you could have some.

  6. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t find last year’s winners particularly humorous.  Which has left me wondering just what they’re looking for, because I didn’t see much of Erma in them.  Or maybe I’m just a sore loser.

  7. Just take some excerpts from your Xanga and thread them together,  a nice comfy patchwrok quilt of slices of your life. That’s what was so great about Erma, anyway. You have the sardonic wit to win, just get it out there!

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