TOO SICK TO ROCK AND ROLL

Three days into this cursed illness and I have not improved.  In fact, I have decompensated from death-warmed-over to death-scorched-on-a-dorm-sized-hot-plate-with-tape-around-the-bunny-chewed-cord. 

 

My husband handed me the TV remote and said if he caught me watching soaps he would drag me to the hospital.  So I’ve been watching John Stewart and Stephen Colbert on Comedy Central.  How come they have new shows?  What happened to the writers’ strike? 

 

Sadly, the bulk of programming on Comedy Central is aimed at boys from 15-25 with no job, no girlfriend, and no brains.  Watching the commercials for upcoming shows is so painful I finally turned to the Hallmark channel and watched The Waltons.

 

Things sure were Great back in the Depression.  John Boy and the clan didn’t have much, but they had love for their family and for their neighbors, even, in today’s episode, chicken-thief Yancy, who steals birds from well-to-do Farmer Potter and hands them over to the hungry.  I won’t tell you how it turns out, because you might be deathly ill and watching TV sometime.

 

I drew the line at Little House on the Prairie and switched to Will and Grace on the Lifetime channel.  Well, it’s either that or go back to the world’s most depressing novel.  Will any of those characters have a good outcome?  Looks doubtful.

 

On this channel there’s a commercial for a show called How to Look Good Naked, in which the fruitiest gay guy from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy teaches pretty-but-chubby women to love themselves. 

 

At this rate I might be better off with the soaps, in spite of Technogeek’s threats.  Nah, Maury comes on soon. 



UPDATE: Having now finished the world’s most depressing novel, I can tell you the answer is no, no, none of those characters had a good outcome.  Oprah, what were you thinking?

  

 

Advertisements

16 thoughts on “TOO SICK TO ROCK AND ROLL

  1. What??? You’re not better yet!!   Must be from that massive snowfall of 2″ a few days ago.   Jon Stewart writes his own material now and calls the show “A” Daily Show rather than “The” Daily Show in deference to the strike.  The symbolism escapes me too.  Jon Edwards did the right thing by dropping out.  Hope you feel better soon.   GO HILLARY!

  2. I own several seasons of The Waltons on VHS.  I started buying
    them before they came out on DVD.  I heart the Waltons.  Sick
    or not.  Better time and place and all that.  Poor or not,
    they had it better than many of us do today.

  3. Nothing worse than being sick and having lousy TV programmes on…..
    I usually put the soaps on when I am sick because it sends me to sleep.
    Get better soon.

  4. Good question. Maybe they write for themselves?  God I hate The Waltons.  I know I shouldn’t – but it just reminds me of All Quiet on the Western Front from 5th grade. That was depressing.

  5. Love the riff on Death warmed over.  CHOICE!Flu takes time to run its course.  Flu robs time.  Flu rips time out of your hands, slashes it with a rusty butcher knife, dismembers it, puts it in little Ziploc bags, puts it in its freezer,allows it to get freezer burn, pulls it out five months later, puts it in the toaster and burns it, and serves it up to its minions, Cold/Sinus Infection and Stomach Virus.

  6. When Stewart and Colbert came back on despite the ongoing writers strike I was elated…until I watch about a half dozen episodes. They aren’t nearly as funny without their writers.

  7. Sorry you are sick – I was sick yesterday and it sucked. I am still recovering today but can stand up and walk at a normal pace without vomiting. Hooray!  I think all discerning readers should make a vow to never read an Oprah Book Club Book. They suck and she shouldn’t be affirmed for such poor choices.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s