Maybe it’s just that I’m in a foul mood for some reason, but Xanga’s new “Momaroo” (social networking for moms) site about made me gag.

I’m all in favor of moms blogging, moms reading the blogs of other moms, and so forth.  I blog about my kids frequently and enjoy the blogs of a number of other mothers.  What made me gag was the nursery school design of Momaroo, with the cutesy animal icons and names.  Not all moms have babies and toddlers, and even the ones that do may not wish to be infantilized.  I don’t, thank you.

While we’re discussing moms, CNN reports that if a full-time mother got paid for her labor, she would earn an eye-popping $117,000/year.  One of the great conundrums of life in the age of almost-but-not-quite equality for women in the US is the conflicting ambitions of women.  Many, probably a majority of women wish to have children.  Nearly all women who have children wish to do what is best for them.  Many of those women also wish to achieve professional, personal, and financial success for themselves.  Alas, what is best for one’s children is often diametrically opposed to what is best for oneself. 

I would expound upon this further but my children need to be maneuvered through their bedtime routines.  This has been Mama Transvestite Rabbit Roo reporting.



  1. No offense to your motherly duties, but that number is really bullshit.  Honestly, you get paid what other people are willing to give you for your labor, and since kids can’t exactly pay…  I don’t ever consider work I do in my personal life to require monetary compensation.  If I did, I’d owe myself at least several hundred thousand dollars already.And yeah, that site looks pretty nauseating.  The concept is a good one, though.

  2. Okay. ^^ That was interesting. Umm, I was just going to say that one probably couldn’t get someone to do what a mom does (for free), if you paid them that figure or even more! Motherhood arises out of a non-monetary set of values. Great is your reward, but you know that.

  3. The conflict is always going to be there for us.  Luckily many people of all sexes (there are supposedly 5) start second careers these days.  Childcare having value is a big issue–should it figure in the economy or not.  I believe that the great economy in the 80s was due not to Uncle Ronnie but to the entry of women into the paid workforce.  I hope people at the Momaroo site aren’t as whacked out as the church mom group I went to many years ago.  

  4. That’s EXACTLY why my husband and I don’t have kids yet – not because we don’t want kids, but because we are still trying to work out the conflicting goals issue and work things out so that we do what is best for the child(ren) but maintain our sanity and a semblance of individuality in the process…Thank goodness we have the chance to plan towards it and haven’t found ourselves in a situation where we’re scrambling to catch up because a baby’s on the way.

  5. I agree with your dislike of the pink and pretty decor at mamaroo.  Remember when black diaper bags came out and women practically stampeded to buy them?  Because grown women don’t want to carry a bag with the Disney Pooh on it.  And why would a woman, just because she is pregnant, suddenly want to outfit herself in giant baby clothes?  It’s the same thing with the blog.  And you’re right that many of us mothers are well beyond the baby/toddler/preschooler days.  I bet a moms of teens site would be fun–all black and scary.

  6. I like daylily02’s idea.  A good, dark, black, teen site would be one I would certainly enjoy & join.    Most certainly the older my kids become the more conflicted I am in doing what’s best for all of us.

  7. I would never voluntarily join something that had “-aroo” tacked on the end of it. Just too precious for words. Ick! I have never viewed motherhood in that “oh, so sweet” way. I believe kids are little individuals. Sure it’s fun to watch them grow and develop, sure parenthood has its rewards. But I also believe that you don’t suddenly stop being a person, or a woman, just because you have kids. I personally am a “stay-at-home” mom, tho not *entirely* by choice. (Fate had a hand in it.) My mom wasn’t – she worked all her adulthood, as did her mom. Do I feel “deprived” because of it? Nope. Was I “neglected”? Nope. As for the monetary value attached to all that parents do for their kids (and their homes, and their ageing parents, and etc.) … well, figures vary depending on who is doing the calculating and on what basis. I think families in which one parent is staying home should probably get a *huge* tax break, depending on income level. That would help out people who would like to stay home, but can’t afford to. And not be a “burden” for those who would prefer to keep working. (No extra taxes, you just don’t get as big a break because you have more money to spend on your kids to begin with.)And I love to hear “kid stories” too … especially the ones in which the youngster manages to puncture some blow-hard’s balloon. Heh heh heh.  ; > (Yeah, okay – I’m a rebel raising rebels. But polite ones! : >  )Fondly,CanadianBroad  

  8. Absolutely.  My 3 kids are all over 21 now, but I fought for most those years with the opposing goals of being a “good mom” vs having a writing career, and ended up with successes and failures in both areas.  Now that they’re grown, I’m stuck with another hurdle – how to start a new career at midlife (I’m 45).  It’s all a struggle my husband has not had to do, and although he’s sympathetic, he doesn’t really get it.But even when my kids were little, I didn’t like ‘mom groups’ that were all about the cutesy baby stuff, talking about babies, or any of that.   I was never into exchanging recipes or discussing the educational benefits of Fisher-Price vs Mattle vs Hasbro. 

  9. I agree with most everything you said other than “Many of those women also wish to achieve professional, personal, and financial success for themselves”.  I may be a little biased after my 24 years working with the dregs of society..the ones that are draining our social bank rolls and give cops/lawyers/judges/dispatchers/jailers/corrections officers/parole officers total job security, but…I’m not sure these women have any understanding of professional, personal and financial success…I don’t know what drives them…alcohol, cigarettes and drugs, men who beat them, no responsibility, never heard of contraception or don’t believe in it…satisfied for everyone else to take care of them..on and on.  Unless you deal with these women, you have no idea that they could possibly be out there.  I mostly think of underpriviledged women to be in third world countries, or ghetto living…but they are here,,,here in in small town America…and they desperately need help.  Their mothers didn’t teach them because the mothers lived the same life and another generation is always just 9 months away.  Sad. They have no self esteem, they only know what they know and don’t for one minute believe that life is ever going to be different for them.  This is not a racial thing…I know there is a lot of talk from African Americans about their oppression but folks, it is not just a race thing…it is a problem that threatens our future society when ignorance begats ignorance and they not only don’t pull themselves up…they have no idea how to begin.My social commentary for the month.  Thanks.  I should have blogged it on my own blog.

  10. Hey, wait a minute!  “Momaroo” invited me to be a friend earlier and I accepted…that wasn’t a real person?  LOL.  Guess I should be pickier about who my “friends” are 😉

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