Help, I can’t get rid of my husband! 


He’s supposed to be in Texas right now, yet there he is, upstairs, playing one of those computer games that makes hissy noises. 


He texted me (good lord, when did I start using “text” as a verb?) from the airport to say his plane had gone awol and he’d booked a flight to Texas for tomorrow morning.  And that he was coming back home.  Based on past experience, I expected him to arrive in a state of full seething rage.


But no.  It turns out he’s Mr. Mellow when he’s traveling on the company dime.  Only when embarking on a relaxing vacation with his family do the inevitable annoyances of travel turn him into Mr. Hyde.  Wtf?


Honey, next time we go someplace together, just pretend that a.) the company is paying for it, and b.) you will spend your time in over-air-conditioned offices teeming with engineers instead of engaging in the local tourist scene. 


Have a nice flight.



8 thoughts on “MEN CONFUSE ME

  1. Hmm. I didn’t really want to go anyway, I wasn’t spending my own money, I didn’t have to deal with my family’s disappointment about things going wrong, my kids weren’t complaining about everything whether it was wrong or right, I didn’t have to rush children who take 90 minutes to eat a bag of french fries. I didn’t have to worry about whether someone else needed to pee, was sitting on some stranger’s property, was fighting with her sister, or was smearing food on my property. I drove to the airport early, ate lunch, read a book, didn’t get on a plane, talked to a customer service guy, booked a new flight, and drove home. What’s not to be mellow about?

  2. TR, you have stumbled into the perimeter of wisdom! Take photos! (And good notes!) The 5 sweetest words in the English language are- “This is not my problem!” A guy on companytime is set free in some ways, to blow off the setbacks because they are not his problem. It matters, but it doesn’t matter, you know? If he’s intense about family events, it’s because he is engaged in their out come. And you really don’t want to be around when the man throws up his hands and disengages, start to view the family the same way he does his job. The ice age sets in rapidly. All the best!

  3. Well, you know how come they designated the male species “XY” right? Cuz you look at them, throw up your hands, and say (yell?) “Why?!?!?” And the sad part is, they haven’t a clue why we might be a tad ticked off. Or baffled. Whatever. (Karen waves hand in “shooing” motion)And how come a guy that can tear down and rebuild an engine can’t change a toilet paper roll? Why!?!? (you see?)

  4. I can’t even get my husband to go on a family vacation – aargh.  haha – I’m laughing at CanadianBroad’s comment above.  Many times I have asked why my husband, a MECHANICAL ENGINEER, can’t properly load a dishwasher?!  It’s a mental block. 

  5. first he’s texting you in the same house just from different levels, then he’s commenting on your site while at a computer in another room. that’s just so I don’t know, so something my kids would do.  it’s too funny!

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