THE MONSTER IN THE CLOSET

My home office contains a large closet, and like large
closets everywhere, it is stuffed full of god-knows-what.  And so, to set a good example for the other
members of my family (read that: to avoid being a big ole hypocrite who makes
other people clean up their rooms without dealing with my own mess), I set out
to boogie that bad boy.

I’ve done two of ten shelves so far.  Things I’ve found on those two shelves:

  • Items
    purchased for my children to be used as entertainment on long car trips,
    stashed in the closet so long they are now too babyish for my 11 and 7
    year old kids.
  • Remnants
    of my youth, like a rainbow bandana covered with buttons sporting funny,
    stupid, or political remarks, such as:

Ø     
Bread Not Bombs

Ø     
Stop Staring at My Button

Ø     
God is Coming, and is She Pissed

Etc.

  • Boxes
    and boxes of check duplicates, going back a decade. (I don’t use those
    anymore.  Never, ever use check
    dupes.  What do you need them
    for?  They make baby check dupes in
    the closet when you’re not looking. 
    And when you boogie your closet you have the shred the damn things,
    because they have account numbers and whatnot on them.  No dupes!)
  • Snapshots,
    like 4,000 of them, stuffed into boxes. 
    The photos were never sorted, not even to remove the “what the heck
    is that” and the “thumb in front of the lens” pics.  I put the boxes back in the closet
    because I am not sorting through 4,000 pictures.  Not this year.
  • Old
    files on 3.5 inch floppy disks, going back as far as college.  Are there any computers that use those
    disks anymore?
  • 19
    cent stamps.  Anyone remember when
    19 cents was enough to mail a letter? 
    Me neither.
  • My New York State driver’s license, circa mid
    1980’s.
  • Paper coin rollers, which inspired me to package up some of the loose change on my desk.  People, I had EXACTLY one roll’s worth ($10) of quarters.  How often does that happen?

Didn’t
actually find any monsters.  Yet.

 

 

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11 thoughts on “THE MONSTER IN THE CLOSET

  1. I hope you are feeling very control freekish after the closet cleaning.  Sorting and pitching always gives me that – don’t mess with me because I’ve actually controlled something today….

  2. Keep at it!  Maybe you’ll find my grandmother’s ring.  Remember, I gave it to you when you turned 16?  It’s an opal with little diamonds around it.  I think  you lost it in college, but maybe it’s  there someplace.

  3. I just finished a massive shredding project involving canceled checks going back two decades.  I’ve finally decided nobody is going to ask for proof of payment from 1988.

  4. Are you an Adobe guru now? I have full faith in your abilities all around, especially when aided by coffee!Good job cleaning out the closet.  And I think 4000 pictures can certainly wait another year. (-:

  5. omg – I don’t even want to think what all I’d find, esp in my husband’s storage areas, which I steer clear of.  I’d get sucked in there and never see the light of day again.

  6. Oh man were there a lot of check dupe thingies in there. I helped you shred them, TR. Remember? It took a while. Little Bit and I got to keep the buttons. I now have an Impeach Reagan button on my curtains. Except that neither one of us was allowed to have the one that said “I’m not as think as you stoned I am.” I, for one, thought it was funny.  Japanese pop music rules! Lol I can’t even understand what this singer’s saying. Oh wait, I forgot. It’s in Japanese. Something about caramel dancing.Wishing Lots of Link into your Life,    Tigger

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