LABOR DAY WEEKEND YARD SALE: EVERYTHING HALF OFF

Having spent the entire weekend with some of the accumulated detritus of our lives splayed on the driveway as if it had had too much to drink and hadn’t any cab fare, I have a new theory about yard sales.

 

But first, let me tell you a story.  Back in the day, before children and Netflix turned us into people who can’t even bothered to go out to get the movies we are going to watch from the sofa, TGeek and I frequented a store called The Maltese Falcon: the 1,000 Greatest Movies Ever Made.  The owner, a man who always wore a white fedora, was extremely knowledgeable and helpful.  If I went in and asked if he had a movie about British monarchs, he’d say “Tudors or Plantagenets?” 

 

The store also carried old tv series’ of just the type we enjoyed.  I rented The Prisoner, one or two tapes at a time.  If you’ve never watched The Prisoner, you should, Number Six, you should.  We ran to the store one evening to pick up the next tape (pre-dvd, that’s how far I’m going back), and we found the man in the white fedora outside, locking up the shop.

 

I leapt out of the car, placed my hands together, and beseeched.  “Please, can I just grab the next tape?  I really really want to watch it tonight.”

 

Any Blockbuster dork would’ve sent me off empty handed, but not White Fedora.   He ran in, grabbed the tape, and handed it to me.  His register was shut down for the night, but he wasn’t worried about it.  He’d enter it into my account in the morning.  He knew I was good for it.

 

It was a small favor, but you just don’t get that kind of service anymore, except perhaps at a yard sale.  TGeek had crates upon crates of wires and cables and whizbits, and spent a good part of the weekend helping men sift through them to find exactly the wangdoodle they were searching for. 

 

I was sitting on the front stoop, swigging a Mike’s Lemonade, thinking about how every customer who came to our sale looked familiar.  I figured I was wrong, though, because where would I meet the kind of guy who sifts through crates for wangdoodles? 

 

One such guy, dressed in Seattle style (slouchy pants and a wrinkled t-shirt) and sporting a hat with a snap-down brim, browsed and poked extensively, occasionally chatting with TGeek about whizbits and whatnots.

 

I sucked down my Mike’s and wondered if I really did know him from someplace, until finally he asked TGeek if we’d ever visited a store called The Maltese Falcon.  Yes, it was him, White Fedora, now apparently Snapped Brim. 

                                                                                             

The store is gone, of course, and he does his business online, like everyone else.  We chatted about movies and mystery novels and the good old days, and finally he bought a few gizmos and left.  I felt so pleased to have told him about The Prisoner incident, and how he was so cool about it that I remembered it all this time.  Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you, if they remembered you being especially great in some way?

 

Which brings me to my theory about yard sales.  The people who show up are all connected to your past, even if you don’t know how.  That’s why they all look familiar.  They come to tell you something, or to be told something, or to settle some unfinished business, IF you can find the connection between you.  If not, they buy their whizbits and depart.  Maybe you’ll find out what they were supposed to tell you some other time.  There’s a laser-thin line that runs between you, it’s green, I think, and it never gets severed.  All the green lines between all the people form a dense and immense and tangled web in which all the critical check points are there, if you only know which threads to follow. 

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11 thoughts on “LABOR DAY WEEKEND YARD SALE: EVERYTHING HALF OFF

  1. It’s sort of like “6 degrees of separation” and everyone is connected to Kevin Bacon in some way.  When you and your brother were growing up I had my share of garage sales.  The stuff I was selling was fairly recognizable, since there wasn’t much in the way of whizbits and wangdoodles in those days.   The people always looked familiar, probably because they had come to the last sale, or they were neighbors.  I kind of miss having those sales.  But then again, I kind of don’t.

  2. I didn’t recognize anyone at our yard sale.  I did fear some of them, however, especially the 85 year old lady who showed up two hours before the announced opening of the yard sale, and demanded I show her the advertised “entertainment center.”  That is an excellent story.  It’s great that he remembered you.

  3. That’s an interesting enough theory it ALMOST makes me want to have a yard sale!  But then I’d have to accumulate enough junk to have one, and I prefer to purge more regularly in small quantities… (-: That has been my favorite thing about moving so far – GETTING RID OF STUFF! Such a relief!I bet you REALLY miss all that computer junk, don’t you! (-: My husband has promised to get rid of all the untouched-for-YEARS computer crap lurking in the corners of my house before we move – Hallelujah and Amen!

  4. That is really neat–I, too, miss those old days of real neighborhood video stores, where I swear, everyone and their brother had one. We could literally walk to 5 stores back in the early to mid 1980s.  Now, they’re gone, replaced by Netflix, (we don’t even have a Lack, uh, Blockbuster around these parts).As for the yard sale, you are the first person who actually sounds like she had something worth selling.  I’m sure you didn’t have clothes from the 70s, 8-track tapes, and “Afternoon Delight” on LP, did you? How neat to see White Fedora again!  Of course he’d probably remember the story–you were regular customers.  People tended to do that in those long ago times….

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