BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE

Damn it, now that my desk has been Chrismafied, it seems I’m going to suffer for it.  Look!

 

This cheery little message has been sent to join the fray at the Washington State Capitol building.  But you can’t blame the atheists for this one.  It comes from none other than the ever-delightful Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church. 

In a misguided attempt to find out why Fred hates Santa so much (Dude, Santa is not gay!  Those elves just WORK for him!) I visited his web site, godhatesfags.com.  I’m sorry, I cannot bring myself to make a link to that site.  It is so bizarre that it’s hard to believe it’s not a hoax.  Are they for real?  Seriously? 

Local news reports suggest that there will also be a Festivus pole installed in the home of the State Legislature.  Since Festivus includes a ritual Airing of Grievances, the Capitol seems like the perfect spot.  We can all go celebrate by telling the politicians the many, many ways in which they have disappointed us this year.  Go early, there will be a line.

In other inexplicable news, I paid $1.85/gallon for gas today, which seemed almost as unlikely as Fred Phelps being an actual human being.  Can anyone tell me what makes the price of gas go up and down?  I think it must be Santa, so he’s staying on my desk.  Honk off, Fred.

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18 thoughts on “BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE

  1. “You’re feeling God’s hate.”  Nice.  A fundamental of Christianity is that God LOVES us.  Even if you do bad things.  The Fred Phelps people were here in C’ville a few weeks ago, protesting a performance of The Laramie Project.

  2. Thanks for the doohickie, TR! I was touched. By the mini and, by you setting aside your usual m o. Thank you!   Regarding the message- this season just attracts extremism, doesn’t it?!

  3. I just filled up at $1.37.  It’s nuts!  I can’t remember gas ever being that cheap since I started driving ten years ago.  Anyway, I don’t know whether your question is meant to be taken literally or not, but the main thing that drove the prices up before now was speculation.  People were putting their money into oil because it seemed to be the safest place at the time; oil is priced in dollars though, and with the dollar going into a tailspin earlier this year, people stopped putting money into oil.  Then, with the entire world going into a recession, the demand for oil was expected to drop drastically, which would lower the price, so more investors stopped putting their money into it.  Pray that the recession lasts a long time if you like cheap gas.

  4. Our church Christmas parties always include Santa Claus – when I explained this to a more traditional Christian co-worker he just about had a fit.  Mormons always tend to treat Christmas more like a birthday party than a holy day anyway – when Christmas falls on a Sunday we cancel most of the services – and what’s a Christmas party without Santa?

  5. I played Santa at PetSmart last weekend. Now I feel sort of bad about sending all those cute puppies to hell. I think, if I wanted to save the world, I would not make the gays the target of my hate speech. I’ll admit that hating someone is a sure fire way to get them to see how wrong they are, but the gays are just so lovely, and are hardly going about recruiting new members or blowing shit up. It’s sort of like going to war with Canada to bring peace to the middle east – if you can equate the war for souls with the war for a piece of land really far away that has historic significance for three major religions, and also has oil – in that, you could triumph over all the passive yet treacherous gayness in the land, and it would accomplish very little in terms of reducing violent crime, terrorism, or shitty pop music – the three leading causes of evil in the world. Me thinks there a skeleton in Fred’s closet that has his panties all in a wad about the gays. Plus, I thought Carlton Pearson proved that God didn’t hate anyone?Also, the price of gas is tied directly to the YGFSD index, which is currently at $.33. Once you add fed and state taxes, you get the $1.85. I have not seen any bumper stickers that say “When Bush left office, Gas was $1.46.” Maybe they’re still at the printer. The wife and I were talking about you at lunch today, so I thought I’d stop in and say hello.

  6. wow, paying $1.85 a gallon for fuel in WA state, that close to Seattle is a great price. i can get it for $1.36 a gallon here. but it is one of this states commodities, so it should be the cheapest place in the U.S. and it’s not. i think they are taxing it a lot. anyway, hate that fred phelps guy. but i don’t know anyone who likes him.

  7. that is just plain freaky.  I still don’t know as I plan on doing the Santa thing with my kids (we didn’t do it growing up for religious reasons and as an adult now I just don’t get it – I will probably just not hinder the “magic” introduced by my husband and his mother…), but evil? Hell?  Wow.  Can we say OVER REACT?I have missed some interesting posts – those poor (literally!) kids – nutrition is a major part of good neuronal development so those results really aren’t surprising, are they?  Sad, but not surprising.Okay, there is a little boy trying to chew on my arm and that is making it really hard to type, much less think coherent thoughts!!!Thanks for all the food for thought!PS. Festivus? Seriously? That is hilarious!

  8. That card would scare the wits out out of any kid reading it.   Isn’t Phelps that nutcase who pickets soldier’s funerals with hate messages?    It’s a good thing you have that crooked Illinois governor to take the heat off your Washington State capitol problems.  As for cheap gas, we can thank the world-wide recession and those wonderful leaders of ours over the past eight years.   I’d trade a booming economy for under $2.00 gas any day. 

  9. Can someone please tell me what the thingy people are commenting on actually SAID? The thing right underneath “Damn it, now that my desk has been Chrismafied, it seems I’m going to suffer for it.  Look!” my computer cant load it for some reason.

  10. Oh. my. Word. Your blog is quite often funny (“those elves just work for him”, “…go early- there will be a line”), and yet all my wanting to laugh is dampered by the incredible Fred Phelps and his “followers”. I cannot understand what, besides perhaps hard narcotics and psychotic drugs, can possibly have damaged these people so badly. Like you, I find it difficult to believe that they are for real, and functioning in society well enough that they still can dress and feed themselves indepndently. Lisa

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