Damn it, now that my desk has been Chrismafied, it seems I’m going to suffer for it. Look!
This cheery little message has been sent to join the fray at the Washington State Capitol building. But you can’t blame the atheists for this one. It comes from none other than the ever-delightful Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church.
In a misguided attempt to find out why Fred hates Santa so much (Dude, Santa is not gay! Those elves just WORK for him!) I visited his web site, godhatesfags.com. I’m sorry, I cannot bring myself to make a link to that site. It is so bizarre that it’s hard to believe it’s not a hoax. Are they for real? Seriously?
Local news reports suggest that there will also be a Festivus pole installed in the home of the State Legislature. Since Festivus includes a ritual Airing of Grievances, the Capitol seems like the perfect spot. We can all go celebrate by telling the politicians the many, many ways in which they have disappointed us this year. Go early, there will be a line.
In other inexplicable news, I paid $1.85/gallon for gas today, which seemed almost as unlikely as Fred Phelps being an actual human being. Can anyone tell me what makes the price of gas go up and down? I think it must be Santa, so he’s staying on my desk. Honk off, Fred.