XANGA, I’M CHEATING ON YOU

I held off as long as I could.  Ignored the pressure.  I even turned to LinkedIn for my networking needs.  And I’ve networked quite a bit, though ultimately to little effect.  No, the facts were clear, the conclusion inescapable: Facebook is where it’s at.

So I got myself a little place over there and invited some friends over.  Recent friends, old friends, even some friends so ancient I had to send a message with my invitation to explain the discrepancy between my current name and the one by which they knew me. 

And now I know who is watching what on TV and what everybody I ever knew had for dinner.  Oh brave new world.

Ok, I don’t really get Facebook.  I get Xanga.  You write stuff, people read it.  If they feel inspired to do so, they comment upon it.  If you write something worth reading, people come back.  Totally get that. 

But Facebook is like a gigantic online coffee shop and people you know wander in and out constantly and tell you, or you overhear, little snippets of their lives.  Which leads to snippets of other people’s lives, people you don’t know who didn’t write something specifically for strangers to read, but there you are reading it anyway because they wrote it on your friend’s “wall,” and it shows up on your home page.  And you find out who is meeting for drinks later and who is feeling under the weather and… oh wait, Xanga is like that too, but not so aggressively.  You have to work at your voyeurism on Xanga.  On Facebook it all shows up in front of you whether you are looking for it or not.

What I haven’t figured out yet is whether one can blog on Facebook, or hook it to Xanga in some way.  Not sure I would want to, just want to know what the options are.  But blogging doesn’t seem to be the point over there.

I must admit I have an ulterior motive in wading through the web 2.0 waters to that particular island.  Marketing.  Specifically, the agency I work for has a big whoop-dee-doo fundraising event coming up, and I want to use the power of the internet to make sure that everyone who has had the misfortune of meeting me knows all about it.  It seems that won’t be hard, since all of my Facebook friends will hear me whining about the unbelievable headache that is event planning and preparation.  Y’all will probably hear about it too.  Sorry about that.

This has been a confused and disjointed piece so far, which just shows you how confusing and disjointing I am finding this experience.  Don’t worry, Xanga, I’ll keep coming home at night, even if I’ve been visiting that other site.

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36 thoughts on “XANGA, I’M CHEATING ON YOU

  1. I’ve been on facebook for a while, and yes, it’s fun and addictive.  But that’s why we’re on the Internet anyway.    They don’t seem to have a blog, per se, but they have something called a NOTE, and I put stuff there.       Go find me!  Hang out with the cool kids!     

  2. I feel exactly the same way about Facebook.  I resisted everyone trying to get me to join…..and then gave up last week.  It’s fun, but the whole process of the comments of “friends of friends” showing up on my “wall” is mind boggling.  Some of my friends have some very inane friends.  There are some great aspects of it — like reconnecting with friends from long, long ago — but it is a weird forum, for sure.  

  3. I’m on Face Book. Lana Recer Grantham. I am with you, though… Xanga is for serious bloggers. There is a place on FB called NOTES which you can do a blog. It’s not one of their main features. I copy/paste my xanga blog there. Not many people read it. I think FB is for people on the go. Me? I really still enjoy xanga and my friendships which I’ve come to appreciate here.

  4. Please don’t leave us for Facebook. We need you hear. And I agree, it’s aggressive. At first, it’s kind of fun, but then, after a while, it all becomes a bit much. I shut mine down. I like to write and read, so I am here.

  5. This is interesting. I just finished reading an op/ed  piece on Slate offering the view that Facebook has reached critical mass, like cell phones in early 90’s, where everyone has one, and the only ones holding out are the oddballs who are trying to make some kind of statement. They considered it an affectation, like leather patches on the elbows of a sweater. Articles main drift was that holding out will hurt your career,etc. and you’re proof of that line of reasoning.   My entire family is facebooking, I’ve looked over shoulders enough to get a vague impression, and it doesn’t appeal to me even remotely. But I don’t hang out in coffee shops or write on walls in my real life either, so it stands to reason… I do sit down with folk I appreciate, and friends are people I can have a conversation with. It’s a brave new world. What I don’t see are a lot of folk who have the personality combination to both blog seriously and do the facebook blather. If, six months from now, TR has stopped enlightening me on the feminist left wing viewpoint, then we’ll know.

  6. There is an application which can alert people with a link to your current xanga post. I haven’t used it, because there are people on my facebook I don’t want to imagine reading my Xanga, but I have friends who do it all the time. If you search Xanga on FB, it should come up. 

  7. I have a Facebook site. Ugh. I signed up for the main reason of trying to keep in touch with The Husband’s 409,853 cousins, and maybe trying to find some old high school friends … And what did I get? My freakin’ stalker ex-boyfriend from 10 freakin’ years ago, that’s what. Double Ugh. Now, how do I deal with that friend request?!?!?! (The Husband is on there too, and quite clearly listed, and also knows this guy … but didn’t get a friend request. Things that make you go: Hmmmmmm …. )I go to That Place maybe once every couple of weeks to make sure all the “kids” (cousins) are alive, and that’s about it. Maybe get a phone number from someone I haven’t seen in elebenty-billion years. Xanga is where my heart is. Xanga is where the real me lives.

  8. it’s not cheating.  they are totally different relationships.  I like the idea of facebook – of knowing where everyone is and how to reach them – and now THEY know I’m there… if they need me.    It is sort of less pressure and less commitment than a periodic email even – we can read the mundane details of each others lives now and feel like we’re “keeping in touch.”  probably 85-90% of my facebook friends don’t know about or read my xanga blog. 

  9. Facebook is a lot of fun.  I love reading the little one-line updates about what people are doing.  And props to the people who write creative things!  I have one friend who is always “at work” or “off for a few days.”  He needs to mix it up a little!  You can add “your website” to your profile, and so link to your xanga that way.The majority of my friends are people I know in real life, but I do have a few blogger friends, including some xanga friends too.

  10. I have a Facebook, as do 5 of my 6 kids,  my sister, my nephews, my brother and sister in law,  and lots of friends, past and present. I enjoy checking in there but I come here to Xanga to write, and I would NOT link Xanga to Facebook…there are things I write here that I would not want certain people to read. I also have a MySpace, but it is in third place.

  11. I have a facebook. It allows me to keep in close touch with my kids who are all over the world and lets me see what they are doing and how they are. I also keep in touch with my professors and school friends. It’s not cheating. Consider it as ‘expanding your horizons.’

  12. I use Facebook mainly so I can play scrabble and lexulous with several friends and family members.   I occasionally leave notes on the walls just to be sociable but resist a lot of the silly stuff like the gifts, and the downright silly.I have been blogging/journaling/just plain writing on Xanga for years, but now they are bringing in “extras” that I just choose to ignore.Ava

  13. Ditto about facebook.  I’m finding that I can’t spend this much time on-line.  I feel an internet restriction coming on (and a T.V. ban for my kids!).IRYC:  Luke is a total ham (like his father– also the baby of the family and STILL likes to make everyone laugh).  Of course it helps that Anna’s had a camera pointed at him pretty much since he was born. šŸ˜‰

  14. I see somebody else clued you in – you CAN blog on Facebook, but I have yet to see anyone who has actually done that.  I am not sure what the avtual point is, although of course it is much less labor intensive.  The rewards are less, too.  So far mine is mostly family, so it’s kind of noce to be clued into the mood of everyone, but it doesn’t go much deeper than that.  I guess in a way I feel like it is for the polite social face, while Xanga can get get down to the gritty stuff.

  15. Facebook is a network of friends, family and long lost people from your past that you maybe never really wanted to find again.  I too have been cheating over there.  It is mindless fun.  

  16. I had a Facebook but shut it down… never did see the point in it.  I guess I’m officially old.  MySpace, I get.  Updates from my favorite authors and bands… that makes sense to me (though I have to admit I didn’t get it on the first go-round either).  Ok, maybe I’m not old… maybe I’m just a slow learner.

  17. Yup, facebook’s not for blogging. I too hate the news feed things that tell you everything your friends do such as writing on other people’s walls & commenting on pictures.. I feel like a stalker with that stuff in front of my face. -_____-

  18. facebook for me is like another email you go on check it and log off and repeat when your bored or free LOL but i find it handle to connect to long lost friends lol i know some don’t even remember you ive incounter that many times and me being the one that forget (short term memory problem) but theres also little games that you can play to take ur bordem away HOWEVER id perfer xanga to facebook cause to me its more interesting and i always try to log on to read about something new but facebook meh i can care less .. maybe just to check up on some pictures of recent parties.

  19. @DrTiff – I totally agree. Facebook and Xanga our tow totally different non-intruding relationships for me. Facebook is basically the external side of me–where I’m at, how I am on the surface, what I like, *insert random applications*, what I’m doing, and occasionally a mini-update on my thoughts courtesy of Notes.But Xanga is the internal side of me. You might not know where I am but you’ll know how I am beneath the surface. And why. Xanga basically reveals the why to a lot of things from FB. Why I’m obsessed with this certain show. Why I love this application. Why I’m reading such and such book. Etc.And just like you, most of my FB friends have no clue about my xanga.

  20. Facebook sucks. You get constantly stalked by other people. You can’t comment on someone else’s facebook without other people seeing that you did so. There is no customizability. If you’re a college student, you get ostracized for not having one. Terrible site. 

  21. I just joined Multiply but will look in on Facebook. I think I may have had an account there once. hard to say; I found one for whohub and don’t have a clue as to what that is but I must have joined.elliott610

  22. I shut down my Facebook account. I guess I am that oddball that is making a statement. Facebook will NOT advance my career in any way. I didn’t like it, people kept sending me weird things and writing on my wall, which is just annoying. I got kicked off of Hauntspace for complaining about idiots, and getting called a drama monger. I have a MySpace page, but I only go there once a month or so, usually when some 24 year old girl is pretending to want to be my friend, but instead sends me a link to her nudie pic site. I of course don’t follow the link, because it is probably loaded with spam, and malware, and viruses, and besides, I’m a realist, no girl half my age is going to want to do the things I want to do, with a guy twice her age. I know I don’t want to do anything remotely sexual with someone twice MY age, I’ve been to the nursing home and little old ladies don’t do it for me. So it just goes to show that she wants to load my computer up with bad things, and friends don’t do that. No one stalks me because I am not pretty enough. That, and I understand how to use firearms. As for your post being disjointed, I like em that way. That’s how I write because that’s how my mind works. Xanga was my first blog, and it is the only one I visit more than once a day. I’ll still love ya, even though you will find out that FB is, like Auxesis says, a terrible site.  

  23. It isn’t cheating, it is kind of different and I don’t really get it either, and I definitely prefer blogging on xanga.  It seems like less of a waste of time to create a blog than semi-spy on people. (-:

  24. You will get a lot of requests for stupid “applications”.  The word games (Wordscraper, wordtwist, pathwords) are really fun and highly addictive.  The rest of them should be ignored. 

  25. How timely of you, TR!  Facebook’s only been a part of my life for a short time, so your blog and the comments that followed are most interesting.   I got invited and signed up because I haven’t had many words to contribute to Xanga lately.  But I ain’t leavin’ Xanga just yet.  Perhaps the muse will return eventually and Xanga’s a better forum for the muse, I think.I dunno how, myself — but I do know some folks who blog there.  Still, Facebook seems more conducive to quipping than blogging.  I’m not sure I’ll last very long there……although I’ve hooked up with some folks I haven’t seen in years, a daily barrage of emails is liable to put me off sooner rather than later.

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