One of the first people I “met” here on Xanga was writejaywrite.  We had some things in common.  We were both trying to find a way to make money doing what we loved–writing.  And we each had two daughters.

I admired Jay’s writing.  At the top of his form, he was really funny.  And his topics resonated with me.  I remember one he wrote about the night the Tooth Fairy forgot to come to his house and do her job.  That post came back to me a year or so later, when the same thing happened at my house.  Stupid unreliable Tooth Fairy.  Another time I sent a link to my husband so he could see Jay’s pictures of the cool pastel-colored guitars he’d gotten for his girls.

Another thing I liked about Jay’s blog was the way he loved his family.  He talked about his wife and kids like the sun rose and set on their shoulders.

After awhile Jay quit coming around anymore.  His blog sat untouched for months at a time.  I never unsubbed, though, because I always liked to read what he had to say when he showed up.

Well.  Today Jay updated his blog.  I have never before been so shook up by something I read on Xanga.  One of his daughters, the younger, a beautiful little girl,  11 years old, died.  She died.  In Jay’s post, his overwhelming grief leaps up off the screen and grabs you and shakes you.  And I’m still shaking.  I have two little girls too. 

I feel a little weird about this, like it’s some creepy tragedy tourism thing, but I’d like you all to go read it.  Jay is a writer, and writers need and want to be read.  I don’t guess that anything you can say to him would help.  I can’t imagine how anything could ever help in that situation, or how he could ever, ever feel ok again.  But show him some love, because that’s all anyone can do.



  1. Wow – do you know what happened??  I like to know the details in these situations so that I can have the false assurance that that would *never* happen to me.  How awful and poignant – I have read writejaywrite in the past (probably through you) and I am so sad, especially for his older daughter.  “Our fairy tale has ended” – so true. 

  2. That is so so sad.  It just starts me down a long path of thinking about tragedy and people who lose their entire families to horrific events and mothers who can’t even feed their children and all the awful, unnameable hateful and unfair things that happen in this world.  And all I can come up against is, I just don’t understand but I’m willing to wait for an explanation.  

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