In Which I Train My Righteous-Rage Laser on Pizza Hut

I am quite unreasonably irked over the absence of a Pizza Hut Personal Pan Pizza, considering that I don’t even like Pizza Hut’s food and didn’t intend to order any for myself.  In fact I’m far more annoyed than the child who actually got cheated out of her pizza.  I may need therapy to work through my pizza-related anger issues.

See, the Pizza Hut corporation sponsored our local library’s summer reading program.  Kids were instructed to read for 1,000 minutes.  After 500 minutes, they could get a “half way” prize from the librarian.  The prize turned out to be a coupon for a Personal Pan Pizza, which I thought was a lame prize, but hey, it was only the half way point.  Then I noticed that the coupon would expire in less than two weeks, since my daughter jumped into the summer reading program at the end of August.  Lamer still. 

Since the coupon expired today, and I wanted Little Bit to get the pizza she earned, we ran over to Pizza Hut after her piano lesson.  As the words “personal pan pizza” were leaving my mouth, the boy at the counter was already shaking his head. 

“We’ll be out of those for the next hour,” he said, with not the faintest trace of apology in his voice.

How can a pizza restaurant be out of pizza?  And if they can be out of pizza, how can they be out of pizza for only an hour? 

I waved the coupon.  “But we’ve got this coupon…”

“Yes,” he interrupted, “it says right on there that we’ll be selling a huge number of those and so we might run out.”  Again, no regret, no apology, and no interest whatsoever in the child who thought she was going to get her damn pizza. 

Wait an hour for the personal pan pizza supplies to be miraculously replenished?  No.

Travel across town to another Pizza Hut outlet in the hopes that they have personal pan pizzas on hand?  Not a chance.

Throw the coupon in the trash, go home, and cook some frozen potstickers?  Ding ding ding!  Winner!

Little Bit, as I mentioned, seemed to care little about this pizza slight.  But my inner Mama Bear wanted to grab that creep by his collar, haul his ass over the counter, and wipe the supercilious smirk off his face with my claws.

In case you are wondering, the prize for completing the program, which Little Bit did a few days ago, was a fabulous art kit containing markers, crayons, and paints, provided by some other company that keeps its promises to children. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to call my therapist.  My growling is starting to scare the kids.


10 thoughts on “In Which I Train My Righteous-Rage Laser on Pizza Hut

  1. Oh, the many offenses of the Pizza Hut reading incentive.  My big beef with it was that when your kid won a pizza, and that kid had siblings, you were forced to buy enough pizza for the family.  Dominos had a similar program last year, and when we went to collect our pizza, they wouldn’t honor the coupon.  It was only good at “participating” Dominos.  

  2. ^ this calls into question the precise motivation of corporate interests. I suppose it is to be identified as one of the ‘Good Guys’, in the literary fracas. However, someone in what we call in hebrew ‘The upper windows’, i.e. decision-making ‘tools’ at Pizza-Hat Central needs to be made aware of the reality of flesh-and-blood dear souls. Reading Bleak House for pepperoni works, but the devil is in the details. Bon appetit, y’all.  

  3. Oh, I do so feel your rage. And what I wouldn’t give to see you wipe the grin off his face. That would have been a priceless photo. Youngest is always getting pizza coupons for reading (what is with the reading/pizza combo, anyway?) which I find annoying. We’ve rarely claimed them, so hopefully she will not, in her elder years, forever associate reading and pizza. Ick.

  4. I bribed my daughter with a Disney Cinderella charm to get her to dance through an entire dance class without “missing me” so much she had to leave the studio crying for Mommy.  She was REALLY proud of herself for dancing the entire class.  She was even more excited to get the Disney Cinderella charm, which broke before we drove the whole 2 miles home.  

  5. I was mad when my kids didn’t get the free donut coupon from dunkins after getting their 10 hours of reading done. IT IS Very disappointing! eeven if its junk. 🙂 Pizza hut has more coupon through the year from school for reading I hear I throw them out most of the time but thanks for the heads up on their lack of service.

  6. While I’ve been on both the giving and receiving end of “We’ll have some in an hour.”, I understand YOUR frustration more.  In ye olde back in the day, I’ve had to tell people they wouldn’t get their Blizzard because the ice cream wasn’t hard enough yet, but at least I had the decency to look sorry when I said it.  Granted, the drunk ones would still find a reason to bitch, but at least they couldn’t say that I wasn’t apologetic when I told them!  This guy?  He needs to work a night at a Dairy Queen with only a cook and counter person.  THEN he’ll know the meaning of “apologetic!”But on the plus side, at least no one partook of the (admittedly good, but terribly fattening, salty, and everything else) personal pan pizza. At least this club offered coupons–we didn’t get anything except a pencil or scratch n’ sniff stickers for reading 100 books!  Even if we were offered coupons, we wouldn’t have been able to get any pizza.  No junk food for us! D’oh!

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