The Problem with Non-Computerized Systems

You all know what to do when your computer goes wonky, right?


You give it the restart command.  Or if it is utterly wedged, you turn that sucker off, count to ten, and turn it back on again.  Et voila, tout bien.  It has forgotten about the pdf file it tried and tried to open.  It no longer cares about the cascading porn spam sites.  That little spinny clock has disappeared, and for a while, the machine will perform all tasks promptly and without complaint.

I wish my brain had a reset button.

Humans get wedged just like computers.  At least, I do.  The unsolvable problem whirls around in my head like an unopenable file.  It sucks up my attention and prevents me from getting on with tasks that can and should be done.  A less-than-stellar emotional state spirals downward into gloom, with no brain brakes to interrupt its progress.  I become fixated.  The object of fixation changes (an issue, a person, a health condition, some cultural oddity, whatever) but the behavior is the same: obsessive. 

Just like the computer, my brain goes wonky.  It doesn’t perform correctly.  It fails to respond.  My inner spinny clock spins away, refusing all other demands until my brain completes the uncompletable job it has assigned itself. 

Sleep seems like it ought to accomplish the reset, but it does not.  The clock just starts spinning again when I wake up.

I’m not pointing fingers or anything, but somebody should’ve designed the human species better. 




8 thoughts on “The Problem with Non-Computerized Systems

  1. Oh My this is topical for me, having until yesterday endured three completely sleepless nights fighting a delusional nightmare from my present job, attaching bamboo mats to the underside of a very picky and petty lady’s porch. Sleep would have been a blessing. I felt all over the back of my head for a button to push, and found none, as you point out. And alcohol wasn’t even considered, it having possibly been the proximate cause of the awful, almost once-in-a-life-time event.Good luck with your own demons, and I hope my demons shall always be stronger than yours, ha/ JS

  2. Huh.  And all this time I thought the obsessive spinny clock moments were when I do my best work.  Yikes.  Have I already failed at “staying focused” in 2010?  I think I’ll spend some spinny clock time contemplating that.

  3. And seriously, any research on a ‘warm-restart’ of the personna; that is, removal of existing memories but with the perfectly intact option of starting anew? I suppose ECT or retro-grade amnesia but neither is really parallel to ‘Reset’. Then, neither is my description. Guess I’m talking ‘Re-install Windows’.

  4. Hmmm this sort of feels like our lives right now. Add to that as you age you try to say something and can’t find the word you are looking for!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s