Tigger: Next time I’m in a science fair, I’m going to do a totally impressive, sciencey-looking thing with charts and graphs and everything, but really if you look closely it will just be some random nonsense about Mormons.
Tigger: I think I’ll ask 100 Mormons what they think about magnetism.
Little Bit: What IS it with you and Mormons?
Tigger: Mormons are awesome! There’s a Mormon missionary website where they’re so used to being trolled, the first thing they say is “do you want to have a real conversation, or are you a troll?”
Little Bit: How do you know that?
Tigger: I, um, that’s just what I’ve heard.
TR: If the missionaries are online, do they still wear the suits?
Tigger: Hmm, I don’t know.
I relate this discussion not only because Tig was amusing me but also because the girls were bantering but not bickering, and that, my friend, makes a dinner worth remembering, even if we were shoveling in leftover soup and stale cornbread faster than it is advisable to eat such things because the school district, in its infinite wisdomlessness, scheduled the open houses of the elementary school and the middle school on the very same evening, and we couldn’t skip either because Little Bit’s open house included the science fair in which she was presenting a candle experiment and Tig’s open house included a choir concert in which she was performing that five hundred thousand minutes song from Rent. Wow, that was a long sentence. It was a long evening, too.
Want to know what the modern 14-year-old and her mother are reading these days? All the traumatic details, here.
Tigger just came home from school and said her social studies class is studying westward expansion, which they call “invasion from the east.” Her report topic? The Mormon Trail.
TR: Seriously, WHAT IS IT with you and Mormons?
Tigger: I love Mormons!
TR: You’re not going to convert, are you?
Tigger: No, I’m going to sing a gay Mormon song to the tune of that gay eskimo song.