Remember that one time when I saw a therapist? Seeing a therapist is a good idea, I think, especially for people who are desperately unhappy and trapped, or those who might be hurtling through one transition after another while things or people around them grow and change and they are reinventing their own lives with little resembling a blueprint, or especially for people who have a lifelong policy of never, ever telling anyone how they feel or what they need. Yes, those folks clearly ought to be in therapy. Not that I would know anything about that.
Anyway, I saw a therapist once, and we had a nice chat. You can only get so far in a single therapy session, but I tried to be truthful. She thought I was depressed and anxious and she thought I might need feel-better drugs and she definitely thought I should see a therapist. So I made another appointment.
The next week I arrived at the appointed time, but my brand new therapist was seeing somebody else. So I left.
I called later and left a slightly irate phone message, though not nearly as irate as I felt. People who need a therapist don’t need a therapist who stands them up, for eff’s sake. Don’t I already have trust issues, lady? Could anything more clearly say, “there’s no reason for you to be taking up space on this planet” than your own therapist blowing you off? FFS.
She called and left me an extremely apologetic message. She failed to write our appointment down. She double booked herself. She was so very sorry. It would never happen again. Etc.
I never called back.
That was a few months ago. Screw it, I thought. I’ll be fine.
But it turns out your psychological issues don’t go away when you ignore them and in fact it takes very little to bring them roaring back to the top of your consciousness, even if your life is progressing in a generally positive direction.
How do you find a therapist you can trust when even therapists have proven that they can’t be trusted and you already had trust issues, FFS? How?