Well, my birthday went pretty much as planned, though I completely forgot about the wine. I’m out of practice with the drinking.
Several things I didn’t know were going to happen, happened. A couple of things I hoped would happen, didn’t. Such is the way of things and always will be.
I can see why Buddhism and some other religious/philosophical approaches encourage adherents to free themselves from wanting. Wanting anything. If you don’t want anything, you can’t fail to get what you want, so no disappointment, only serenity. Or something like that.
Take this longing from my tongue
All the useless things my hands have done…
Speaking of disappointment, I’ve decided to set the whole personal ad project away indefinitely. Even aside from the degradation of advertising oneself like a piece of used furniture (structurally sound, could use refinishing), it seems like an exercise in futility that could only possibly lead to disappointment and other unpleasant emotional states.
Perhaps I will devote year 39 (give or take) to the study of Buddhism. But probably not, because like nearly all religious/philosophical frameworks, it seems rather male-centric in ways that are bound to be…disappointing to me.
So, scratch that plan and all the others. Instead I will
- take care of my kids
That’s enough activity for a year, isn’t it?