Clean Up on Aisle 10

I have a blogging problem.

It’s not that I blog too much. There are no limits that I’m aware of, and blogging doesn’t cause lung cancer, or make you stupid and violent, or rot your teeth.

I have a problem because my posts never come out quite the way I intended them to. I sit down with a theme in my head. Sometimes I even have a conclusion ready to reach. I actually often compose entire posts in my head while cooking or showering or standing on the bus. But when typing time arrives, it all comes out different.

It’s like my id wrests control of my fingers from my super-ego and all hell breaks loose. It’s like a person who really ought to be lying on a therapist’s couch spilling her psychological woes, a person who has thus far failed to acquire said therapist, is using her blog friends as therapists instead.

I know…I’m not the only one who does this. Does anyone *not* need a therapist?

Sometimes after I’ve spilled my psyche all over WordPress, I worry that I’ve said too much. There are people I know in real life reading this blog. Some things they don’t need to know. Some things they will think are about them, but they’re not. Other things they will think are not about them, but they are. I try to speak in universal terms. It’s safer to be the royal we.

I wonder if starting therapy would cause me to quit blogging. How much psyche can one person spill every week? Or maybe I would just go back to bragging about my kids or spouting my lengthy political rants. Maybe everyone would be relieved if I kept my psyche between myself and my theoretical therapist.

I’m going to stop now, not because I’m done but because I need to exit this coffee shop and go to work. That’s how reality interacts with psyche sometimes.

How much do you people charge, anyway? Will you bill my insurance?




4 thoughts on “Clean Up on Aisle 10

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…I’ve been using my blog as therapy for more than a decade. My posts NEVER come out the way I intend. I often think of a sentence or an idea in the shower or in front of the sink, something I want to discover or understand or consider, and occasionally I even think I know where it’s going to go. But then I sit down and start typing and all kinds of surprising things come out on the other end. I have a theory about this. I think it reinforces the slim and tenuous bridge between my conscious and subconscious selves, which I think is ultimately helpful, and maybe not in the way therapy is helpful, or maybe in exactly the same way, I have no idea. I think being able to access feelings and thoughts you can’t even feel and think, just by making your fingers a conduit, is a gift from the universe and we should accept it with joy. Also, in re: people reading your stuff, girrrrlll, don’t I know THAT. But truthfully, no one in my real life has time for all my daily crap. And if they do, what do I care? It’s a blog. It’s full of hyperbole and confusion and inconsistencies and evasions. It’s a gift I’m giving to THEM, getting to see someone’s subconscious filtered through their fingertips and smeared all over a page.

  2. Suffering from lack of blog control? Tell me about it. I feel like a Jackson Pollack approach to blogging is best. Just throw stuff and see what sticks. More often than not, a pattern will emerge from the chaos.

    I’ve enjoyed you showing different sides of yourself over the past couple of years.

  3. Yes, I think you should start therapy, Not because I know anything about whether or not you would benefit from therapy, but for a simpler, more selfish reason. Because it might free your blog up for other purposes. You see, I have a long memory. And one of these days, you’ll get around to finishing the story you started oh so long ago. I went down to the crossroad fell down on my knees.

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