Bad Habits

(No story today)

I shouldn’t do these things. I know I shouldn’t, though on the grand scale of badness of habits, they hardly even register. I don’t smoke. I don’t use meth, heroin, or wagon wheels. I don’t gamble—not even lottery tickets. I don’t eat red meat and my caffeine consumption is…well, never mind that. But I do have these internet-related habits:

  1. Even though I have no intention of job hopping anytime soon, I still scour the job boards nearly every day.
  2. Even though it has been made clear that I am not what the modern 50-something American man wants, I still read the personal ads.
  3. Even though it makes my blood pressure go up and my skin crawl, I still read the comments on the articles about gender/women/feminism/etc. All of them. Ohmygod.

The good news is, I now have a brilliant social media business plan.

I want to build a site that combines the job search/networking function of LinkedIn with the dating/mating function of Match.com etc. MatchedIn! Isn’t that a natural evolution of both concepts?

On my site, your profile would include your resume, skills list, and recommendations, just like LinkedIn. It would also include a professional-ish photo, your height and weight stats, your favorite activities, and what kind of date/mate you are looking for.

That way, potential dates could find out what they really want to know about you: whether you are a functioning human being with a job. And potential employers could find out something they might like to know before hiring you: whether you are a freak who is trying to find a “babyslut” half your age who will call you “Daddy.” See? Win/win!

The process of job-hunting and mate-hunting are pretty much the same, anyway. In both cases, you offer yourself up for evaluation, knowing full well there’s a high probability that you will be deemed Not Good Enough. Why shouldn’t I make a gazillion dollars off of other people’s unrealistic hopes and smashed dreams?

As for the comment boards, well, even on the leftie mags, the comment boards often consist of legions of men explaining just how much they hate women in general and feminists in particular. In my defense, I quit logging in and trying to explain reality to those men. So my habit is not as bad as it once was.

Hey, I might add a comment function to my MatchedIn site, just to up the evil level to 11.

You know you want an account.

 

 

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9 thoughts on “Bad Habits

  1. I like the idea of a recommendation.

    Today Nebraska’s bio-lab/Ebola containment unit made the news, opening up the floodgates of nasty Nebraska comments. I skimmed the comments and wanted to respond to those valiantly defending our sparsely populated, land-locked state that nobody was going to change their minds, so quit sounding desperately excited when we make the news. It only confirms what everyone suspects.

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