Bruce Jenner is a better woman than you. After all, if a 60-something year-old grandfather can look like a supermodel on the cover of Vanity Fair, wtf is your problem? Have a little facial contouring done, implant some silicone, lace yourself into a corset to bring out that hourglass, hire a team of make-up and hair professionals, get a world-famous photographer to take your pictures, and finally, get the best graphic artist money can buy to photoshop the hell out of the shots, and boom, you are, “for all intents and purposes,” a woman.
Well, actually, for several specific intents and purposes, all of them having to do with drawing the spotlight, selling your new reality TV show, and boosting the inexplicable fame of your equally self-absorbed, limelight seeking family members.
So, Call Me Caitlyn, you were uncomfortable with the gender role assigned to you on the basis of your biological sex? I can understand that. I’m not really comfortable with my assigned gender role, either. Here are some things about my assigned gender role that I dislike:
- The relentless cultural focus on “hotness” as the key quality is determining an individual’s worth.
- The expectation that I will wear uncomfortable and impractical clothes to increase my hotness.
- The expectation that I will use make-up, every day, to increase my hotness. (Men only use make-up when performing. Women’s lives are non-stop performances.)
- The verbal abuse I have received from men I didn’t know for not looking hot enough.
- The verbal abuse I have received from men I didn’t know because I looked hot.
- That time a creepy guy masturbated in front of me on the subway late at night. I was getting off the train at the very last stop and I prayed he would exit before that.
- All the times I didn’t go somewhere because I didn’t feel safe walking alone at night.
- All the times men have interrupted and talked over me.
- All the times my views and opinions have been dismissed.
- All the years I was not worth talking to because I was “just a mom.”
Sadly, I don’t get to choose or identify my way out of those experiences. But hey, thanks for playing a key role in perpetuating and cementing those gender expectations for the next generation by transforming yourself, not into a woman but into a bizarrely exaggerated male fantasy of what being a woman is about. Fuck you.