TRANSVESTITE RABBIT—SUPER
BOWL EDITION
The other day, my
daughter Tigger regaled me with a hip hop version of “Santa Claus is Coming to
Town,” complete with rap-like rhymes, a ghetto accent, multiple instances of
the word “yo,” and booty-shaking. I was
aghast.
“That’s it. You are no longer allowed to speak to other
eight-year-olds.”
“What? Why not?”
“They are a bad
influence on you.”
“Whatever. Yo.”
The same child has
a crush on a Boy.
“Tigger, what do
you like about Boy?”
“What do you
think? The same thing that has attracted
girls to boys since the beginning of time.”
(I swear she really said that.)
“He’s a great and
powerful hunter?”
“No!”
“He has a good job
and earns a lot of money?”
“Mooooommmm! No!”
“Well, what?”
“He’s reaaaallllly
cute!”
Clearly the girl
has a lot to learn.
Meanwhile,
five-year-old Little Bit has entered a new era.
The we-don’t-need-no-stinking-velcro era.
Yes, I taught her
to tie her shoes yesterday.
She put on her
pink Converse high-tops and approached me with a determined expression. She had a skill to master and I was elected
to help.
After several
demonstrations and some guided practice, she successfully tied a shoe. Then Little Bit sent me away so she could tie
independently. Soon she was crying in
frustration after a number of failed attempts.
“Little Bit,” I
told her, “I’ve been tying shoes for 35 years and you’ve been doing it for 20
minutes. It will take some practice.” 
Not to be outdone
by my 35-year advantage, she spent much of the afternoon tying and untying
those little pink shoes. By the end of
the day, she could do it consistently.
No one has ever been prouder of their loosely-tied but double-knotted
sneakers.
Except her mother.
Transvestite Rabbit 
awww yay for little bit. As for Tigger, I would ask if said boy ever gets sent in the hall or whatever they do now to disipline now a days, cute is okay, but bad boys are another story, then it needs to be nipped in the bud.
aww! your kids are awesome!
That’s awesome. I had pink, converse high tops. Heck, I’d like a pair of low tops. . .red maybe.
IRYC: Thanks for asking. I feel pretty good for a lady who’s just had a baby. I have a blog brewing about that wonderful amnesia that allows crazy people like me to do a thing like childbirth over and over. 🙂
p.s. I posted a pic of my ‘big kids’ too. 🙂
Oh no. How old is she? 8? This phase is going to last a long time. I agree with momofjenmatt. It’s never too early to start pointing out the down side of bad boys… and ones who don’t have good thinking skills.
i still stick with the velcro…
Wah! Thay all grow so fast. I remember the shoe tying lessons and the boy tales of woe. Nell had a boyfriend in kindergarten. Now she could care less if she has one, so she says from her wise age of 19 going on fifty. I tease her about being an old soul in a young body.
I think I was 7 or 8 before I managed to learn to tie my shoes. I could read when I was 3, but it took FOREVER to remember my right and left lol. *I enjoy conundrums. I’m just glad I don’t have to really make the decisions every day dealing with those poor people. I’ve learned that there are many kinds of “help”. Unfortunately sometimes, helping the wrong people too late does more harm than good.
Tigger will always be interested in having boyfriends. That’s just the way she’s wired. I doubt that she’ll be attracted to bad boys. Cute and bad are not the same thing…well, not usually! Hooray for Little Bit! She has to be the most determined child on the face of the earth!
Awe, Little Bit reminds me so much of my cousin. Just as determined, easily frustrated, and cute.
I liked velcro, but that age has passed.
Take care.
That’s a great super bowl edition. Eldest just “negotiated” a boyfriend, whom she claims is smart and nice but not super cute. “Negotiated” because he said, “Do you want to, like, go out as boyfriend and girlfriend?” To which she replied, “Yeah, I guess.” She explains this to me, and then follows it with – “I think Alex is cuter, but he is rude and has issues, so I like Robby better.” On one hand, I’m glad she’s learning that cute isn’t everything, but on the other, I still think she shouldn’t be quite so far past the “boys have cooties” phase. . .
Not really that much to learn. Do we ever really get over the cute boy thing?I mean the cute ones who don’t have cooties!
P.S. Rachel has black velvet Chucks (w/fuscia trim). Oooh.
I’m not sure what’s worse. Having a crush on someone because of their job, having a crush on someone because they’re a great and powerful hunter-gatherer, or having a crush on someone because they’re “reeeeeeeeeally cute.” But unfortunately, she’s right. That’s all that matters anymore.
And what the hell is an 8 year old doing having a crush? Don’t boys still have cooties at that age?
RYC: its spicy but its good for the system LOL
how adorable! my daughter liked one boy from kindergarten thru 3rd grade…then we moved. so now in 4th, she has found another boy she likes 🙂 and tying those shoes is always such a proud moment, i understand 😀
~jess
Hee! LOVE pink Converse tennies on little girls.
LMISS
I’m sorry I didn’t see your HIV post. I think we should do everything in our power to eliminate the disease. I have 3 kids & AIDS scares hell out of me.We mandate psychiatric treatment and institutionalization for identified mental illness when a person is deemed a risk to self or others. It seems we could mandate medical treatment, too (except for some religious groups.) That would be a huge undertaking, beginning with mandatory HIV testing at an early age. Sounds sci-fi to quarantine individuals with disease, but we did it with TB. Interesting link below.Of bigger concern to me, is the attitude that AIDS is a method for eliminating undesirable groups from our society. We all know that HIV can be transmitted to “worthy” health care workers, law enforcement agents, and children. I found this editorial on the National Institute of Health website. Lessons from New York’s tuberculosis epidemic. Tuberculosis is a political as much as a medical problem-and so are the solutions, Coker R. “Globally tuberculosis is preventable and treatable: it just depends on how much we are prepared to spend and how. Political will needs to be allied to a political and public health mandate.”When I file my taxes, I want a list of check off boxes where I can designate the governmental “charity” of my choice: Health care, environment, education, retirement, shmoozing, war, etc. Wouldn’t that be cool?
Awwww. She is too precious.
Lol. I can remember the day I learned to tie my shoes. I think I cried in frustration, too, which only made me more determined to get it right. Congratulations!!!
Hooray for Little Bit!
I think you’re going to have to start locking Tigger in her room and barring her window pretty soon.
I love this post. You always catch the whole range of emotions when these little kids think they can grow and mature. (sigh)
Tigger should be writing dialogue for sit-coms with Kids in them, she could write much better one-liners than they do now.
Thanks for commenting on my site! Ug, I wish my kids were on the learning to tie shoes stage, since that would mean that they would both be potty trained, eating with silverware, drinking from a cup, speaking in coherent words, etc. Congrats to your Little Bit for learning to tie her shoes!
Why are you writing this when you should be mourning the Seattle loss….I know how deeply you care. Hooray for Tigger and Lil Bit….I’m so proud of them.
IRT Owain_Gwynedd, mandatory mental health eval and commitment do not occur until AFTER a judge has been persuaded to order such steps – usually because the patient has demonstrated behaviors leading to a doctor’s opinion that the patient presents an immediate danger to self or others. This process is analogous and often concurrent to criminal arrest and does not involve prior restraint. Mandatory TB testing and your analogous mandatory HIV testing are not equivalent to the above, and impose considerably greater invasions of individual liberties.I won’t say here that the TB testing program has not been beneficial – I am among the generations of Americans that have lived without fear of this apalling disease, but I will point out that antibiotic resistant strains may ultimately prove that the plague has only been postponed, not prevented.
Your kids are too cute!
ROTFL!!Send little bit here to help DQ learn how to tie her shoes….she refuses to learn.
Cookie recipe is now posted.
In most cases of court-ordered treatment you are right. However, in Ohio, we have Advocacy & Protection Services, federally fund disbursed through the state. Here’s what we do in Butler County with homeless in winter. Bring in the person, give psych eval, declare incompetent, appoint APSI as guardian, give him/her shelter. In the spring, redo eval, find the person competent & release them to the street.To apply this to HIV positive people, we might need to change the definition of “competent”
RYC: WWJR – that’s funny. True story: I was standing behind a lady at a convienience store. The clerk looked at her braclet and said “WWJD..I keep seeing that everywhere, what does it mean?” She replied that it meant What Would Jesus Do. The clerk looked at her purchase and said “Jesus would buy a carton of Camels?”