TRANSVESTITE RABBIT GOES TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE
Here are some things I learned this week:
- When
your kid is in trouble and you get called in to talk to the authorities,
your heart pounds just as hard as it would if you were the one in hot
water.
- When
the powers-that-be lay out their case against your child, you have to
mightily resist the urge to excuse yourself and call your lawyer from your
cell phone in the hall. “Hello, is this Johnny Cochran? Get on a plane, man, I need you. What?
Well yes, she did it, but I figure you can get anybody off.”
- When
you sit down with your kid and discuss the matter, you seriously consider
saying, “Screw it, who do those
authorities think they are anyway?
They’re getting in the way of your Creative Expression. Let’s go get some ice cream. Then we’ll get on a plane to Barbados. They’ll never find us there.”
- When
you sit down with your kid and discuss the matter, you seriously consider
saying, “You know that closet under
the stairs? That’s your room from
now on. I hope you like it because
you won’t be leaving it for a long time.”
- What
you actually say to the child falls somewhere between those two possible
approaches.
- No
matter what you say or do, you are not sure you said or did the right
thing.
- It
makes your heart actually, literally ache to see your normally bouncy
child so miserable.
- Parenting
does not, in fact, get easier with practice.
Transvestite Rabbit 
Ahhh TR….Knowing you, you did the best thing for all.
Though..it IS sure hard as a parent to know that, isn’t it?
Have a super weekend regardless.
Thanks…take away my only solace. I’m going to ignore your last statement and continue to believe that someday, perhaps when my children are 4 and 3 instead of 3 and 2, it will be easier.
Not that it’s easy but it’s such a great excuse to show off your common sense. And let’s face it, that’s basically what I’m working with here. (And I’m sure that reinforcement will take them far.)Plus I think it’s fine to say, “We all make mistakes. It’s not that big a deal, it’s not going in any “permanent record!”Or “Live and learn; I guess we won’t need to make that mistake again.” ps. I think icecream sounds like a great idea!
It never does get easier!
Who’s in trouble and what is she accused of doing? Does she admit it? If so, is she sorry? And even if she isn’t all that sorry, how bad could it be?
Regardless os ease, you always seem to find a path to success. Take heart, and know that raising quality humans is a tough sport.
G.
You said a mouthful! Very true.
Kathi
So was that “Creative Expression” spoken or spray-painted on a wall?
I’m afraid to answer the phone during school hours.
Boy, you’re right about that one! Here’s the kicker: it’s no easier to be on the other end of that conversation. When I have to call a parent and give bad news, I’m a nervous wreck. No matter what I say, the parent might think I’m calling their parenting skills to task–and that’s (almost) never the case. I’ve made those calls and received them, too. Yikes! But I’m sure you were great~
What a great post! I will try to remember this when and if I have to deal with DQ at the principals office.
I am sure you did the right thing.
RYC: The article was about over-40s.
Amen to the last statement! When THE KID was in school his “disciplinary” file was so thick they installed wheels on it. The good news is…kids grow up and have their OWN kids. It’s like divine retribution, only better! (insert evil Grinch-like grin here)
It is such a bummer to realize that last part. I keep thinking how the difficulties just change, rather than going away. I still have teenager-hood to look forward to (5 times!).
Sorry you and said child had a hard week. 😦
Ryc: Was it her beauty or the hideous up-do?
It’s so hard sometimes to be the grown-up and NOT the friend who goes and buys them ice cream when they’ve done wrong. And they WILL do wrong! The trick is to make them learn something from the experience but yet, hopefully, if it’s not TOO bad, still know they are loved and forgiven for the occasional lapse in judgement. I’m somehow sure you did it just right.
Johnny’s been gone for a while. But his spirit lives on.
What do you do when your family values and the school rules clash? I’ve been mulling that over for months, and Madison’s not even in kindergarten yet.
I suppose you have to sit with your child and say “Okay, while you can do this at home, please follow the school rules no matter how absurd they may seem. You can quietly mock them, but keep out of trouble.”
Then I guess you are still able to “create a learning moment” or an “on the spot correction” (crap, I’ve been a corporate stooge for too long) for the all-inclusive “didn’t stay out of trouble” clause.
Oh no. If it makes you feel any better, my baby had detention once. I could see his point for what he did but went along with the school as his was not appropriate or constructive expression. 😦
Just wait until you hit the teenage years.
Don’t say you weren’t warned.
xoxoxo
What’d she do?
We recently set up the “wheel o’ parenting. And though it may some times seem unfair to give the kid a lollipop for setting the cat on fire, we sleep better at night knowing it was all just a matter of chance.
OMM
pwunderthebus stole my line. I think Johnny may have passed away, but you could have used his lines about the glove fitting and aquiting etc.. When my son creativly made fake school id’s for the underclassmen to be able to leave campus for lunch etc.. the princpal actually gave him props for what a good job he did. He still had to clean the cafeteria and was grounded at home, but I was secretly a little proud.
…you become kind of a mediator…sometime they blow things out of proportion…so who did little johnny stab with scissors…
Tough day, huh?
Console yourself with the thought that MOST of the time, thoughtful and loving parenting does work out well, in the long run. Life has no guarantees, but I’m speaking of what is as close to a sure thing as you’ll ever have. So buck up and, like the Tao philosophy says, “Do your work, and step back.”
i must wonder what happend. “creative expression”….spoken, implied, or smeared with spraypaint in the bathroom? though its up to you to say the crime, many would like to hear. Rex Scorpius
Your kiddos didn’t come with the instruction manual? I’ll send you mind….:)
It’s entitled “Trial and Error”.
oh those last two things- don’t you know it’s true!
I agree with your last point entirely. Just when you think you have a handle on things, they up and turn into teenagers.
You’re right, it doesn’t get easier. Age compounds their troubles. The shit they can figure out to do wrong in their 20s is so much scarier, partly because there’s not a darn thing you can do about it. I’m sure whatever you said was the right thing for her to hear.
Hey, I thought of you while I was in Seattle. I don’t know where you live but I discovered a lot of cool neighborhoods this trip: Madison, Wallingford, Evanston/Freemont, Capitol Hill, Ballard. Such cool places and I had the best weather. Usually I just have a weekend and pretty much stay downtown. I used to rent a house in Freemont, back before it got trendy. You are lucky to live there.
RYC: My girlfriend says the same thing. But I have so few pictures of the last six years that I bawl myself out when I have a camera and forget to use it.
I was lucky. My child was so trained to believe that I always knew and would always know anything she did that she refused whenever another child offered some temptation to misbehave. Didn’t hurt that I always made friends with the principal and her teachers. They will laughingly reveal some of the things your child does that amuse them. Then you can casually bring it up at the dinner table that such and such happened that day. Blows the child away. How did you know? The heart always pounds when our children are involved. Since they learn by testing the envelope, we have to be the parent. I hated grounding Nell or taking away a privilege, but she learned. It really is hardest on the parent. My parents were called in for brother Conrads “creative expression.” They were asked to write a paper about their English class. He wrote, English sucks! The next four paragraphs stated all his arguments for why. Mom and dad still laugh about it, but darling brother was grounded for a week.
I have to revert to my mother’s bottom line — was blood spilled? If not, then it’s all fixable. Sounds like you did a good job navigating the middle ground.
Someone had the nerve to say I posted an illegal picture of you , in other words they implied it wasn’t even you. Please make sure to verfify the picture of you on my site and admit to the article you were interviewd for. Thanks.
How well I remember the find line between strangling and hugging, between grounding and kissing. But as one commenter mentioned, wait till you have teens. And I can tell you from experience that no matter what the age (ours are between 51 and 42 now!), you never quit worrying.
Feeling better now. ~grin~
Ava
Let’s see now…which cliche can I add here….NOPE! They’ve all been posted!Hey, don’t worry. Kids will be kids. WHOOPS!
PSI have two teenagers, and I consider myself blessed …I get along with them AND their parole officers VERY well.Thanks for reading.Kaz
I think it does get easier. This daddio takes no crap from the kido.
You’re right. It doesn’t get easier. But I wouldn’t give it up for anything else. I’m sure you said/did the right things- you sound like a great mom. It’ll be fine. Lisa